Roundabouts

Peter H. and Henry L. (ïauel, ot Whittaker, have struck a snag in the shape of an arrest, charged with the sale of uulicensed "jags. " George Allison, of Milan, rested the muzzle of his gun on his foot. The gun and two toes went off almost immediately. It was toe bad! J. Placeway, the thrifty Pettysville station agent, has erected a barn at the station, and swings out a sign asking the privilege of becotning stable chambermaid for all horses that have to wait for trains at that place. Beginning with this week the expired paragraph will appear in the upper corner of the local page of this paper. - Fowlerville Observer. The attention of the health board is called to the fact that the Observor threatens to contain dead matter. It has just got out that two tony Charlotte young ladies entertained an equal number of young gentlemen at a Thanksgiving dinner "of their own cooking." When the turkey was carved, out tumbled half a pint of corn. The craw had not been removed. The Dec. ist number of the Morenci Observer was what is commonly called in the Greek tongue, "a nummer. " The Observer is published close to the Ohio border, and the ability with which the Allen Bros. straddle the state line for news, commands admiration. For three hours Clinton was left in heathen darkness, the othcr night, when the power plant and the electric glims had a disagreement. But young couples enjoyed the most harmonious eonfluence of soul and li]), during those three hours, that had come to them since the barb.arism of science destroyed the curtain of the niglit. H. J. Scholey and wife, of Coldwater, had been sixty years married last Sunday. The ohl gentleman is still galloping around as lively as a candidate for congress (republican candidate) and says he wouldn't accept of a divorce if it were granted hira free. Mrs. Scholey, also, seems to think she wouldn't trade Scholey for any other man in Coldwater. The Pinckney Dispatch states that outsiders have expressed surprise that a town of the size of Pinckney could afford a lecture course at an expense of $o to $75 per night, but tlic surprise lades away in the presence of t he ''crowdsof intelligent people." This all comes about through the Dispatch 's educational campaigning, but that paper is too modest to brag itself up. VVill Packer, a Morenci boy, drifted out into Oklahoma, where he feil in love with and married a lietitenant in the Salvation army, at Guthrie. She was a female. There were uight bridesmaids and three ilower girls, and the affair is reponed to have been the "swellest" thing that has happened in Guthrie since the last public hanging for horse stealing. Funny thing happened at Grass Lake the other day. Two men, one of whom was carrying a buteherknife, were walking together. The "ad vanee man" stepped on a piece of board, and the other end tilting up, caught the toe of his companion, who plunged forward. To save him, his companion grabbed for him, and received an accidental slash across the throat with the hog sticker, and narrowly escaped having his "wea.en" cut. The skeleton of an Indian, supposed to have had a pre-Adaniitic existence, was recently resurrected in the course of a drain excavation in Dcerfield township, Lenawee county. He was dead. Beside his stalwart frame lay a stone pipe, showing that while the old redskin had the vice of smoking, he had not fallen so low as to suck the dirty little cigarette. How we respect that old rascal, in comparison with some modern -'pale faces" ! Rev. W. T. Williams, of Tipton, Lenawee county, has been given a vacation to recruit his broken health. Eider Williams' poor health wilt be regretted, both in the pulpit, where his discourses are models of scholarship and piety, and on the "diamond", where, when in health, it took a mighty "fly" player to beat him at batting a ball or stealing a base. There are those who believe that a minister cannot be both a Christian and a ball player. But why not ? A reading room ha3 at last been established at Tecumseh. It contains a copy of the bible among other volumes, in which Editor Stacy has discovered subjeets quite new to him. He became especially interested in the declaration of Peter, to the man with the kneespavin, in which the great disciple remarked: "Silver and gold have I none." This, Mr. Stacy urges, was a brief account of the first money panic, of which there is any record. He is wrong, however, for in Job's day, Bildad the "shoe hight" was the shortest man of whom there is any account. Fowlerville has a festering "Jack the Lady Chaser," whose head is ripening for a club. It is about ripe. A son of the old man Michael , Oeyt, of Lake township, Ingham (County, is now under suspicion of j having murdered his father for his ! money. Ex-Gov. E. A. Stevenson, of Ida jho, is visiting in Sharon. Many years ago he lived in this vicinity and attended the Grass Lake public school. - Grass Lake Xews. Monday night of last week, a j prodigal burglar wasted a large quantity of good chloroform on Kremont Bachelor and wife, of Coldwater, and secured only $20. Deputy Game Warden James E. Niichols, of Lansing, suggests that all deer hunters be compelled to pay a Hcense of $25 or S50. This he thinks would shut off the exces I sive deer slaughter. A Tecumseh milk vender has covered 4,745 miles the past year, with his team. This is exclusive of his trips to the Raisin, during the awfully dry weather, to - swell the wheels to hold the tires. Puckertown is trying to put on metropolitan airs since the ! can party carried the election, by the addition of another store, with barber and shoe shop in connection. - Cor. Livingston Herald. How true it is that labor rarely receives its full reward. Burglars worked half a night to crack the Dundee flouring milis' offices, but secured only a quantity of disappointment and half a box of cigars. Howell is like a peacock. It has line plumage and dirty feet. It has handsome buildings, but sidewalks ■ that would shame a sawmill slab road. Somebody will yet recover gilt-edged damages of the corporation. ■ Recently, at the Coldwater light power house, a hot water pipe burst, scalding the cheeks of a couple of men who were there. The yarn which one of them was relating to the other, at the instant of the calamity, is still unfinished. A marned man of Charlotte, who insisted on kissing "the sweetest mouth he had ever seen," was j "seen" by her young man, and now explains to those who ask, that he was splitting wood and a stick ilew up and struck him in the eye. Walter Marshal, of Devil's Lake, i was sentenced by the court to pay j $i per week to support his divorced wife and child, but he ran away to Kansas. But he returned after a i year, and now the hooks of the law i are in his flesh, and bis liberty taken away. Gov. Luce has found by experi-i ment that it does not pay to feed j 50c. wheat to hogs, with pork at 4c. i a pound. But we have no doubt j that the swineherds of the state 1 islature will leave the old man to scald and scrape his pork while they elect Patton or Burroughs, and McMillan to the United States seríate, although he knows more about disemboweling a hog than either ot them. The Monday edition of the Adrián Telegram was surrendered to the ladies of the city, "for sweet char ity's sake," the"entire net revenue from sales and advertisements being devoted to the cause of local benevolence. The paper, which was a fine seven-column eight-page doublé edition, printed on calendered book paper, was edited, business managed, and we believe yelled off on the streets by ladies. The literary contributions afforded a pleasing ! medley of original fact, fiction, poetry and politics, that could not but charm the readers. It is understood that the regular everv day staff of the Telegram editors went squirrel hunting on the day the ladies' edition was published, and that such were their accounts of game killed that the father of all fiction appeared and remarked that as a liar he wás yet in his A B Cs. John Hanley, of Tecumseh, is in tronble again. Two years ago he was arrested for arson, convictecl, sent up. released on error, retried and after a hard struggle discharged. Then his wife had him arrested about a year ago. After retiring one night, he got up and barefooted and thinly ciad, groped down stairs to give a crying child a drink. In the darkness he smashed a hanging lamp with his head, which so confused him that he upset the stand under the lamp and away went the bible and motto "God bless our Home." Attempting to move, Hanley feil over the stand and had a rib shoved out of place by contact with the bible. Enraged at these unexpected events, he grabbed the stand and threw it, but being excited threw wild and knocked the stove over, the fire spilling on the floor. He was engaged in pounding out the blaze with a rug, when his wife fied and had him arrested, thinking he meant to burn the house. He was discharged on examination. Now comes his regular annual arrest. On information by his wife, he is in hoc for larceny.