Washtenawisms

A clay pigeon Christmas shoot at Manchester. Bridgewater has the past week transacted a buiging business. An era of 12-foot cement walks is about to set in at Manchester. Christmas exercises were held in four Saline churches last night. Mrs. Frederic Pease's ballad concert netted over $50 for the the soldiers' monument fund. - Sentinel. The basement of the Chelsea bakery has been enlarged to meet the demands of an aching void in the village stomach. Harry Penny, of Ypsilanti,' last week had a finger smashed in a press, thus violating the law against mutilating the currency. H. A. Gilmore, of Ypsilanti, while painting last week at the new high school building, received a tumble and elbow dislocation. A dead hog weighing 500 pounds with its clothes off, and bereft of its internal economy, was purchased last week by a Ypsilanti dealer. The Chelsea Herald hears that the laziest man in Michigan lives in Albion. This is probably a mistake. There is a fellow in Dexter too lazy to go to sleep. Manchester should raise fewer children or more school seats by at least 40. It is written, "suffer little children," and there is where the little children suffer. St. Mary's Sunday school, of Chelsea, will hold its Christmas exercises in the town hall. There will he a tree and probably a balloon-stomached Santa Claus. There is competition between the Manchester banks, each vieing with the other in trying to look prettiest. The cornices are not yet studded with diamonds, but they will "be. Michael Schaible, of Manchester, owned a handsome black shaggy dog which a secret "friend" poisoned. He has had the hide made into a rug and tearfully wipes his feet on ït. The I. O. O. F. of Milán will have a house warming January 10, that being the date of the dedication oí the new hall. The goat is being fattened on oyster cans, old boots, slop buckets, etc, and will feel his best on that occasion. Union religious services at Man ter have been discontinued. The pastors of the Baptist and Methodist chinches counted noses and discovered that fewer people at tended unión services than when the meetings were held separately. "The Trial of Santa Claus" will be given at the Baptist church at Mooreville, as a Christmas cantata. Trial of Santa Claus! Why, what has the jolly old rascal been up to - knocking the bricks down the chimney with his jelly stomach? Chelsea Masons Tuesday, last week entertained the brethren and their Iadies from Manchester and Grass Lake. Manchester poured in 30 and Grass Lake 40 crusaders of both sexes. There was "work" in the lodge and a supper afterward. Many farms about the county improved the open weather and grabbed '95 by the forelock by piowing for spring crops. This is good for the farmer, but very bad for the poor cut worm and it is ten chances to one that he doesn't survive the winter. Excitement ran high in Ypsilanti one day last week when a buil which was being led by a farmer suddenly began making a record. The animal drew the owner around till he tore the ring from his nose - the buli's - and at first proposed to go through Cleary's business college, but changed his mind, and after scattering the crowd, escaped into the country. The L. O. T. M.'s of Saline, will hold a hard-times social, January i. Art. i- Every woman who kums must ware ajcaliker gown or something ekally appropriate. Art. 2 - Al men must ware their ole cloz and flannel shirts. No man with a stand up kolar or biled shurt on will be allowed tew kom in. A vot of thanks will be giv tew the wust lookin rig in the hous. The huil círdíe introduc strangers an look after bashful fellers. 10 sents for som kins of kake and koffy. It will kermense at haf past seven sharp. There is goin tew be som speakin an singin by some persons. Jerome Germán, of Ypsilanti, is called "Dot Leedle Cherman Pand" from the fact that he manages five musical instrtments at once and when in full operation he has as many aclivities as a haytedder. He blows a mouth organ - with his mouth - plays aguitar, with his hands, a bass vial with his fppt and thiimní; a Hruni atd cymbals with his elbows. To heat aod not see hitn is to suppose that Iniies' band has struck town. To see him is to fancy a man in mortal combat with a horde of musical fiends. However all is harraony between Germán and the instmments and there is positively but one man of him. A $ioo horse died for Geo. De Mosh, of Ypsilanti, last week. Saline recently had a frightful I molasses war, and prices went clown to 10 and n)4 cents per gallon. Saccharine, mon dieu! If there is snow, today, the Chelsea M. E. Sunday school will slide on runners. If there is no snow, then tomorrow the ride will occur on wheels, but that's snow way to sleigh-ride. Local talent recently broke into a Chelsea store and carried away $10 j worth of goods. Never despise : "local talent." In this case the loot was not Iarge, but practice may enlarge it. At the funeral of the late Cornelius Cornwell, of Ypsilanti, Rev. M. M. Goodwin and V. L. Pack were thrown from their carriage, by their horse taking fright. They escaped serious injury. The census report ot the secretary of state over popuUtes Chelsea, crediting her with 2,006. The enumerator found the number 1,423. Bro. Gardner probably mixed his estimates of republican majorities with the census figures. Mrs. Heller with her school gave ! a very pleasant social at the home ! of Albert Blaess, last Friday evening. The proceeds, which amounted to better than S15, will be applied to the organ fund of the district. - Saline Observer. Frank Keeler recently sparred at Sault Ste. Marie, and having knocked his man down with a tooth Ioosener on the jaw, the other fellow declared that he engaged for a sparring contest and not for a fight, so the fun stopped right there. The campaign is at last ended - the republicans have taken down their banner and the democrats have settled up their bilis. - Ypsilantian. There's a clean bill of health for the democrats. Have the republicans settled their bilis? Behold, they had democratie currency to do the settling with. In a recent football game between the Saline school and the town boys, amity was rent asunder and the contestants grew so cool in their friendship and so hot under the necktie that it was deemed best to put the windbag away, lest the entente 1 díale should suffer irreparable j age. There are those who contend that fo.otball and the "pure and peaceable fruits of righteousness" won't mix. I In the cuurse of an active descent down stairs, last week, Chas. Tichenor, of Chelsea, had both wrists sprained, his face made to resemble a prize fighter's, and from various parts of his body patches of good, strong human hide were removed. Still he did not break out into profanity or behave unseemly, but merely remarked in a mild way that he always disliked anything like that. Jay Wood, of Chelsea, will be turnkey after January ist. under Sheriff Judson. - Argus. Mr. Wood denies the allegation. He will go to Ann Arbor with Mr. fudson, but the position that he will occupy is not the position of turnkey. - Chelsea Standard. Well, possibly Jay Wood knows more about his business than the Argus does We do not say he doesn't, but the Argus is a mighty good paper, we. can teil him. A shiny-shoed bilí distributor at Saline, respecting the polish of his "tooth-picks" on a muddy day, resorted to poking the bilis under the back pads and collars of horses or thrusting the sheets into the holes of hitching posts instead of wading out to the wagons. The equine bill boards soon shook the advertisements into the mud or pulled them out of the post holes and ate them. The advertiser should have placarded the horses, editorially: "For important information, see our inside." Johnny Avery last week rode into Saline on a spirited nag, and was the admiratibn of the town, especially the girls. When he rode out the animal concluded to take ]his "innings," pursuant to which he flung Johnnie into the air. As the lad returned earthward he struck the planks of a bridge and was gathered up fast asleep, but is better nov. Saline may not be as well railroaded as some other towns in the state, but for activity and smart circulation of blood the air around there is peculiar. A prominent farmer whom we met on the street yesterday morning gave our village a good roasting for not having street lights. He said it was actually dangerous trying to get out of town after dark. It is a fact that we need a system of street ! ing, and so enterprising a town as ours should have it. - Milan Leader. Milan is an enterprising town; a live town; a good town; and why she chooses to blunder around nights, bumping against invisible objects in a shade as black as Erebus, conieth not immediately to the understanding. They have high night in Milan. Mrs. Hanna Fidelia Boyd, of Chelsea, died Friday last week. The damage suit of Mary Hutchinson against Ypsilanti has been settled. Woodchopper from Ypsilanti, chopped at Birkett, but is home how with a gash in his foot. A Wayne cigar factory is willing to move to Ypsilanti for $i,ooo. Pshaw! Some people live in Ypsilanti who never asked a cent for it. The Ypsilanti town house was recently planted roundabout with a rovv of hitching posts and connected with gas-pipe, 300 feet of which was promptly stolen. A reward will be paid for the apprehension of the son of perdition who pocketed the pipe. The boy choir of St. Luke's church of Ypsilanti was photographed as a group, last week, and every "kid" managed by sheer grit to keep still, till the shot was made, though there was not one of them but that itched in from one to a dozen places and did so want to dig, just then, though the thing would never have been thought of if it had not been for keeping "perfectly still."