Effective Alarms

"One night late," said the rctired bnrglar, "I went into a house in a vill;if.r' in western Conuectieut, entering ! cellar window, as I usually did i I wus late, so as not to disturb 1 looked avound the cellar ;'.!"i looated rli-.' stairs and started up. A bout three-quarters of the way up :. rope iluit was stretchcd across oangfat me uudcr the chin and toppled me over down Btaira There was only the stone wall of the cellar on one side and no rail on tho other, so there was nothing to grab to, and I just tumbled down. As I bumped along something Boattered along down with me, wbag-bunging dowu the steps over me and uudor me and around me, chasing me all the way down, and when I finaliy got to the oollar bottom tiiat thing was lyiug acvoss my chest. It was the coal shovel, whioh had evidently been stood up against the rope and whioh I had jarred looso. "But the worst thing of all was that my lamp was broke. I lost my jimmy on the way down, but I hung on to my lamp, but now the light was out and the glass%as broke, and the slide was jammtd around in front, and I could uot turn it. I feit around till I found my jinimy, and then I waited to see if I'd woke acybody np. I didn't hear anybody, nnd so I startod again, aud this time I felt my way up the stairs carefully to the door. ] for.nd it nnlockcd, aud I bad got it opon aboutan incli, I shonld thiuk, wheul heard i littlebit of a Bcrr.piug uu the otlitr side, and the uext instaut tho dreadfulost racket that anybody ever board, tbc falling of a dishpaa tbat must havo boen hanging on the otiier Kido on tho doorknob or tho key, and at the samo time what I imagino must have been the potato matiher - l don 't kuow, becauso I didn't look ior it- droppcd from tho top of the door upoii 1117 baad. ."This door to the c&llar oponed from a little square hall or entry way that had, as I léarned by feeling, a door to the left, to the kitcheu, I suppose, and one to the right, I guessed, into the front hall. Iwaitod again, but 110 sound from up stairri, so turned to the right and opened that door and stumbled tho first thing over a ohair close by in the hall and almost broke ïny shins. I feit aloug and found a row of chairs standing closo together from that door clean to the front door. I sat down in one of them and nursed my shiu and waited. Still 110 sound, and I tried again, and got along all right this time, and turned off to tho left and into the parlor, and back from that into the dining room, for a wonder %vithout falling over anythiug, aud I besan to foei oncouraged. But in tho dining room there was ing but plated spocns and forks, which of conrse I conld teil by the touch just as well as thongh I'd had an electric light. If thoy had auy silver, they had aarried it up stairs, as soine people do at nigbt. "I turned back into the hall and groped my way through that row of chairs to the foot of the staira. To make sure of the first step in the dark I stepped high and steppod into a pan of water on the bottoni step. That made nie mad, but I didn't make any noise, aud I stepped out of it and started on up. At about the third step my leg struok a striug that was strnng across these stairs and set a bell a ringing that was hanging on it, and kicking that string started down on me from above a shower of pie plates, and presen tly I feil over a wash boiler that had been set on tho stairs a step or two up and brought that down on me. "As I was flouudering arouud in this tinware aud string and bells and things I heard ohildren's voices up stairs, and a minute later I heard steps in tho hall above, and I could seo in the blacknos.s up there tho white of a nightgowi at the head of the stairs. Then somethlng camo slamming against the banisters, hitting me as it rattled down and finally landing v.'ith a great bang on the floor arnong the chairs in the hall. Thu minute he tlirew it, wboercr he was, he ran, and I began to think it was about time for me to go too. I had freed ruyself i'rorn the bellcord by this time, and I got down tho stairs and into the hall again, and there this time I stepped on a baseball b;;t - that was what had come bangiug down at me from above - that rolled out from under me and upset me once more among thoe chairs. "I got up and opened the front door - it wasn't ocked - and got out on the piazza. Before I had got to the top front step I heard a hom blowing from au up stairs window on the side of the house, and au instant later a shot from a revolver and a big bell ringing. There was a lato moon just rising and a little light novv, and asi went away I looked back aud saw three children all in white, all leaning out of one window on tho second story. On one side there was a boy of about 14, as I should guess by that light, firing a pistol. He was the boy, no doubt, that had throwu the baseball bit. On the other side was bis younger brother with a goort pair of lungs blowing a fishhorn about as long as a bean pole, and in the middle was their little sister swinging a big bell with both hands, and take 'em altoether they were making a great deal of noise. "I didn't wait to iuqniro about it. but it was just u simple as rolling off a log. The children's parents had had to go away somewlicrc overuight, sickness or sumuthing, and had left the children alone. The young folks had forgot to look tho doors, but there really wasn't any neoessitT of locking 'em, with such