He Met His Match

The scène was the private laboratory of the greatest cheinical analyst known to science, J. Bigleg Bighead,. M. D. , F. R. S., P. D. Q., etc. There was a timid rap on the door, and a dark featured man entered, saluting with obseqnious gi'iice and handing the great expert a card, on whioh was the firm name of "Baggeni & Fleeoem, Private Detectives. " The celebrated toxicologist glanced at the c-ard and motioned the visitor to a seat. "Happy to make your acquaintanre, sir. What can I do for yon?" The swarthy browed visitor glanoed around to muke sore that they were alone, then drew forth from the folds of his cloak asmall bottle containing some mysterious fluid. "Sir, " he began in undertones, "this bottle contains part of the contents of a man 's stomach. The deceased died two days ago onder the most suspicious circuinstauces, after having dined with a very beantiful woman. I want expert sworn testirnony - an ironclad, all wool, yard wide, no rebate, expert analysis. What 's your price, sir?" The great man held the bottle up ta the light, then pulled a string disclosing a scale of prices on the wall, which the visitor read, as f ollows : To find poison and swear to it $1,000 Not to find poison and swear to it 2,000 To find poison and swear I didn't 4,000 Not to find poison and swear I did 5,000 To "ball up" the jury with learned technicalities, so that it won 't matter whether I did or didn't. 1,500 To boomerang 400 yards of Latin at the judge 1,000 To bring ten other gre!t men to swear for our eide, each 1.000 To cite eminent authorities whichever way you wish, per cite 250 To throw up enough scientiflc dust to befogand muddie the judge, jury, prosecuting attorney ttnd myself , per shovelful 250 Consultation, beginning with this one, per minute 200 "Now, sir," continued the great toxicological expert, "on which side of the fence are you? Are you ernployed in the Interest of the poisoner or the poisonee?" Bnt the detective had finished the last line of the scale of prices, and his hair etood on end. Slowly he aróse, looked at his watch, saw that he had been there 30 seconds, drew forth a roll and connted out $100, pressing it into the hand of the great expert. Then, with a look of envy and admiration, he fled ■rast in time to save another htmdred. -