Adrian Press Washtenawisms

James Goodhew lives in Ann Arbor, and is oue of the few persous who can handle an adz without hacking his shins. The enlarged Chelsea Standard is a roomy, breezy, newsy paper, such as it behooves Hoover to make. Beveiij Bugg, of Saline, feil under the wheels of a caboose last week and was a niashed Bugg. One leg has been ampntated. Dr. O. R. Long, of Ionia, refuses the homeopathie deanship in the University and says he wishes to give his attention to criminal insanity. Then why didn't he accept the deanship? -ine Urange V ïsitor saya the last legislatura was the best one for the farmers that Michigan has had for niany years. - Ann Arbor Courier. Tbe skuuk law, about the only act not declared unconstitutional, is of more value to the farmers than we had supposed.. Edgar Warner, of Washtenaw, stroked a rattlesnake with one of his bare feet. He will pull through, but to build a shoe that would fit him a shoeniaker must needs work out door. By a risiug vote of the Sharon Center chnrch, the young men of that place will be requested to hereafter desist from playing ball on Sunday. In these oourteous days even the devil is treated with a great deal of politeness. Smith, of the Milan Leader, char aoterizes Neal, of the Northville Ree ord, as -'Hi Jiuks of the Aueient and Independent Order of Jïeckless Prevari cators. ' ' Just as we f eared ! Mrs. Garlick, of Ypsilanti, oaused the arrest of D. O'Brien for assault and battery,but the case was disrnissed Some people love garlics and others do not. Daniel does not. Herman Maiefckei was fined $3 and $18 costs by Justice Pond Tuesday for assault and battery. He paid. This item is inserted to give the funny man of the Adrián Press a chance at the name. - Argus. The offer is like the stork's invitation to the fox to join her in dining out of a jug. The Hon. George A. Sub-Treasury Peters, the populist sage of Scio, exclaimed a month ago, with a sigh, O, that wheat would yield onïy seven bushels to the acre. Mr. Peters is an excellent farmer, a kind father, an indulgent husband, a poor prophet and a worse politician. The water in Grasa Lake is so low that pickerel and black bass parry the heat by twisting their tails up over their heads for sun shades. It beats the dickens how much a fish knows when it comes right down to business. - Grass Lake News. We hate to impugn the veracity of a brother, but we solemnly believe that the above is a lie. A. K. Gage of Manchester, is indebted to a cow for the most important ift he ever received outside his own ef'orts, in this world of selfishness. It happened last week. The cow had a young calf and Gage visited the spot. The mother of the calf ïnisunderstandng his motives, gave him an "Irish list" that will last him till he gets well. What Zoa Phoia won't do for ailiug women, no medicine will. Guy Lighthouse, lighthearted and gay, returned to Chelsea from a yisii I with his Grass Lake girl, failed to see la 300 pouud hog that lay across the path of his bioyole. . A fellow don't always see everything under such circuru stances. With a ' ' woof - woof , ' ' the hog arose and Lighthall was pitohed in the ditch. One of his eyes uow looks like that of a man who has told anothe,i that he lied. A grape shot, over an inch in diame ter, has been dug from a Saline well, 20 feet below the surface And yet we boast of the scientiflc and engineering progress of this age and are never tirec of bragging how all-fired smart we are compared to our forefathers. It wonld take 40,000 years to deposit twenty feet of dirt over Saline. The Darwinian monkeys understood their business jnst as well as we do ours. A man went mto an Ypsilanti barber shop th eother day.all out of breath.and said he'd give $5 to be shaved in a minute. Instantly he was knocked down into the operating chair, a towel driven down his shirt collar with a mallet and cold chisel, and two barbers then sprang upon him and had him shaved, wiped, combed and cologned with the sixteenth of a second yet unspent a "mighty close shave. " He paid. A Lodi horse waded into Base lake, evidently intending suicide. Out in deep water, its nose went under and it strangled and made for the shore. The Argus says: "The moment it touched solid ground it gave out an unearthly neigh and with head and tail up started out at its topmost speed to put all possible distance between itself and the water. ' ' How very like some of the men over the Lenawee border.. He said "ueigh" to water, between which índ himself he nut all possible distance.