Speaking Facetiously
An Ypsilanti athlete eau raise a 240 poniid dumb bell, frorn the shouldor, straight up, arins length. Yet the arrn feelá limp and strained every time he brings in au armful of wood or helps his mother twist the clothes wringer. Postmaster Gillespie, of Dentons, Washtenaw, is af ter the soalp of Chas. Freeiuan, alleging that the latter accused him of robbing the mails. Well, of course, the postmaster didn't do it; but where in thundei bas all the loose currency of the United States gone to, anyway? "The Six Smith Sistors" reoently gave a concert at Ypsilauti. The young ladies - that is, they are more or less young - sing beautif'ully and look more or less old, bnt it is nnderstood that only f onr of the "sisters" are sisters to each other, the other tvvo being borrowed frorn other families. The Ann Arbor Daily Courier has ceased publication. It was bright, newsy and full of snap, ginger and high tariff. The latter was nofc to its credit; but there was eiiough else in it to make its visits desirable and its "shuffle" a matter of regret. Frank Kellar, Ypsilanti's pugilist, says he is ont of the business ' 'unless the men come his way. " It is within the easy memory of the Democrat that Bob Fitzsimmons came Frank's way a little more than a year ago, and Frank seemed to be "out of the business" a few minutes afterward. An Ann Arbor burglar "held up" the wrong man the other night. When the "wrong mau" got through with him it took both theburglar's two pais, who ran to his prostrate form, to hold him up and coax the brealh back into him. The event has cast a gloom over some parts of his viscinage. Several Ann Arbor citizens have lately donated $10 apiece toward corking the drainage in the United States treasury. This was for the privilege of writing tuessages on newspapers to save the price of a letter stamp. It hardly pays to spoil a jack-knife worth a quarter to skin a flint worth a cent. Barbara Jenkins. of Manchester, pitches into David Partlow for $5,000 worth of slander money. Over on this side of the county line it is, of course, nobody's business, and yet it is no more ;han proper to iuforni Barbara that in these tight times it takes the finest kind of a eharacter - free from spavin and wind galls - to fetoh that price. Thieves raided the Ann Arbor Knigbt Templars' car from Boston. One night on& knight was uuburdened of the care of a twenty dollar "yellow dog," concealed in his pantaloons and for a while pants and all seemed gone and the prospect of the Sir Knight appearing. ciad like Adam bofore the f all, threatened society, but the pants were found after strict search and due diligence At the Washtwiaw fair, on school day, the Hon. H. E. Pattengill, of Lansing, delivered an address, but failed to state expl'citly whether he intended keeping on with 'the idiotie questions witb whicb he has been puzzling teachers. Mr. Pattengill, if a quart of buttermilk will make a rat terrier sick to his stomach, who was the father of Zebedee's children? Ever since the groat blow that demolisbed the Ypsilauti opera house the people there have been continually dazzled with the footlights of an imaginary new theatre. They have had proruise upon promise - soheme upon scheme flashed before their visión and it looks nove as thongh they would behold the New Jerusalem coming down from heaven before thay see a show in that new opera house. It is the most deceptive air castle that never was bnilt. At Ypsilanti Saturday last week, in response to an announcemeut of a baby show at Sc. Luke's parish house, the management was astonished and appalled at the presence of 44 infants in arms. It was the greatest "infantry" demonstration seen in Ypsilanti siuce the close of the "horrible" Toledo war. Democrats of Washtenaw who basely went back on the party last fall, because of the Wilson bill, must have feit ashamed of themselves as they gazed apon this exhibition of the "infant industries" that have sprung up under so-called free trade. "After the bawl was over" the award of prizes was made and there are Ypsilanti mothers of prizeless - and priceless - infants, still hunting the jndges of the show, with mopsticks. Theie is now a show of motbers-in-anns.
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Ann Arbor Argus
Old News