Monroe Democrat Items

The tnayor of Ann Arbor has joined the order of Elks. An elk cannot be a ; prohibitionist, as he takes two horns a year regularly. The Euglish Literature Class of Dundee has fallen afonl of "Pope's Essay on Man" and is engaged in oritioising it. The 3hade of old Pope is shivering in his shoes, waiting in the ante room for the verdict. Rev. Sabastian Smiths will talk next Sunday evening, on "The mother-inI law's plaoe in the home. ' ' - Ypsilantian. Has our esteemed contemporary bksqnoted? Should it uot be "The m ither-in-law's place is at home". The oratorical department uf the uu;versity, will in the spring produce the great oratorioal play of Julius Caesar, provided : That the "Romeo and Juliet" practioe through the winter does uot vaoate too rnany of the parts. Robert H. Whitteu, of Ann Arbor, secures a $150 prize íor au essay on Best Me h á of public irnprovements in Chicago, by special assessmeut. Knowleiga acquired iu a trip through the Aun Arbor sewers, and polished by atteudauce at one of the meetings of the board of public works ought to bo worth $] 50. The Petersburgh Sun takes the Dundee Ledger to task for "departing this life without an obitnary riotice in its own columns. " Did the editor of the Sun ever see a man sit up in the "box" and preach his own funeral sermón? Did he ever see a dead ondertaker bury himself ? or a post mortem marble cutter chisel au epitaph on his own tombstone? The Sun would have had the Ledger do thafc which would be too muoh to require, even of a smart healthy corpse. Be reasonable. A big delegatiou from Dundee, last week piled into a sleigh, (talk about your recipes for niaking jam - they don't begin !) and galloped to Galloway's over in Azalia, to the muasure of inerry jingling bolls (copyright secnred on the "merry, jingling bells") taking with them supplies for a supper and returning at a late hour with happy hearts and frosted toes. And still there is a codfisb aristocracy in the land that sets the seal of Plebeianism on the healthful, ruby-nose sleighride and sits by the stove inhaling coal gas and catching diphtheria and other aesthetic complaints. Some people are never so happy as when they are miserable. A button and a piece of cloth from a cloak were the olues that placed Helen White.aged 16,behind jail bars on Monday last. The button and piece of cloth were give to the marshal and the cloak found in the girl's possession. - Ann Arbor Argus. What an editor the marshal would have made. With a button and a piece of cloth, lo, he goeth forth and harvests the thief. The editor recieves an anonymous postal card ordering the change of an address in handwriting even more illegible than his own, and understands Jast what to do, on the barest hint, for he knows the name and postoffloe address of every man, woman and child in America, of course.