Washtenawisms

South Lyon is bothered with clothesline thieves. Dexter is olothed in sin and has bnoket shop. Ice at Grass Lake eight inohes thick was harvested last week. ■ Chelsea village marshali's salary has been raised to $45 per month. The Pinckney Dispatch has commenced its fonrteenth volume. Howell is to have a new prohibitioa paper. It will be "dry" reading. Chelsea's saloons will close np on time nights or the village marshal will be forced - to take a drink. Miss Mary Barthel, of Chelsea, has married Heniy Wirkner, of Toledo, who takes her to Toledo to live. Leo Staffan, of Chelsea, has lef t on a western trip to embrace Portland, Seafctle, Salt Lake City and other poiofcs. Samnel Parsons lately retnrned to Ypsilanti from the south. He says the Johnnies are as hard up as the Yanks. Dr. and Mrs. M. R. Raymond, of Grass Lake, havegoue to Florida in the hope of benefiting the doctor's health. The Crescent club give oue of their enjoyable fling the feet and all hands round at the Dexter opera house tonight. The Ypsilanti newspapers seem to be very wroth because the pxaminatioa of Register of Deeds MoKinstry, has been twice potponed. i The sexton of the Saline burying ground made his report the other day for the year 1895, and emphasized the fact that there were 26 bv.rials, eight more than the year preceding. Dorr Heller, of Grass Lake, reoently retnrned from a visit of several months in Bngland. He brought baok witfa him eeveral literary relies of which he is proud.notably a life of Ignatius Loyola the founder of Jesnitism, printed ia 1577, and fonr volumes of the Spectator, having publishing date of 1711. Marnie Askew is the new editrix of the school column in the Grass Lake News. Mamie goes a little askew when she says over the school colnmn : " We, the newly elected editors of the high school, hope our columns will be f ar superior to those heretofore given." Mamie, you should be more modest. The Willis correspondent of the Ypsilantian says the cold of Saturday and Sunday of last week "reached olear down to our boots aud our calves wre benumbed by tbe frost. " The attention of the society for the prevention of cruelty to animáis is called to the Willis board who allows dumb brutes thea to suffer. When Mrs. Harriet L. Wheeler, of Dexter, was a little girl her sister then ■ but six weeks old, was given away to a family for adoption. This family never told the child her name in after years and Mrs. Wheeler bas long tried to lócate hpr. She was successful Christmas and the sisters spent the holidays together at Dexter. A boy can set on a sleigh six incbes quare, tied to a sleigh moving eight mile au hour; bnt he can 't sit on a sofa flve minutes for a dollar. A man will sit on an inch board and talk politics for three hours; put him ín a church pew for 10 minutes he gets nervons, twists and t'nrns and goes to sleep. - Fowlervill Observer. Ivan Sawyer, of Brighton, hunted rabbits recently. The rabbits were more nimble than Sawyer's arm which conld not run away fast enough from ia front of his gun, and Sawyer planted his trusty buÜPt right through it. The arm was amputted and Sawyer says &e can feel an itcbing pain in the memher in its bnrying place out back of the house. It is paid that Ypsilanti officials have all sworn off chewing tobáceo and that the one who flrst commeuces to fill his mouth with tbe sednetive weed will have to buy a new hat for each one in the crowd. It is expented of course that there will be a sudden leave taking on the part of several of the old chewers, who will drop down to Detroit in about ten days and walk over the Belle Isle bridge in order to get a quiet "chaw, " ■without danser of being cuught at it. Serie artvertisers think, or talk it at Ipast that their ada are not read. That it a wrong Mea, as ndi are read aud ihe people profit by tbern moreJhau the advertisers m some cases ■■ rn willing to adinit. Today Har, er & Parsoos re ceived an oricr for olothing from N. Carolina. 'JClie orrler Btat'ed, sêöd (namiug ariioles) according foynur ad in the Balinp'O'iserver of Janaary 2. - Saüue Observer. Editor Warrn, of the Saline Obnörver, eats oranges of his own growmg. people crow about their pubic school and say it is one of the beet ui the ooantrv-. M juches'er people--with the exception of wcmen and children - get shaved in a new barber shop. George C. Page has held the office of olerk of the Baptist ohurch at Dexter ooutinuonsly sinoe 1842. Bugeue Field and James Whitoomb Riley were discnssed by Saline seniora at; their social last Friday evening. 3&a. Cavanaugh's hoise ran away at Manchester recently and tipped over another sleigh in whioh Jacob Miller and two youug ladies were seated. Tbe trio were tnrown out but not one of thein was seriously hnrt. The Dexter Savings Bank touched aigh water mark Jannary lbt when its tQtal assetts footed np co $160,291.71, as against $136,700.71 f or Jannary 1, 1895. lts total deposits Jannary 1, 1890, were $133,614 against $1 15,046. 15 for Oanuary 1, 1895. Clifford Shaw, of Salinejbroke his leg a yeai ago. The other day he slipped and feil and severed soine of the ohords aiong the bone of the leg that was aroken. Mr. Shaw never swears and all he said was "pshaw," when he fouud that again he had beenuufortunate. A telephone oompany oame to Saline ;hu other day, ripped the street all np, pat in as many poles as they could in ■ront of drive ways and fenoe gates, and never said boo to the oonnoil. The connoil may now preservo its dignity by making the telephone company take np the polea and, go abont the bnsiness right. A pair of spectaoles left by a woodile thief await an owner at Chelsea. The man whose woodpile was the object of the owner of the speotaole's oovetousness, fonud them in his wood sbed. It is generally believed the finder will always possess them eren should chey have been gold rimmed aud set with rubies and ptrnrl. Mrs. Geo. Nisle, of Manchester, ran a needie into the fleshy part of her faand. There was a"(thread in the needie and Mrs. Niale's novel method of doing plain sewing is nansing her mnch pain, for in endeavoring to draw the needie ont by the thread the eye broke and left the piece of steel in her hand. During a business lull at South Lyon a storekeeper had a frïendly tussle with bis clerk and the latter playfully hoisted him in the air and dropped him on the edge of the counter, dislooating his shoulder. If this storekeeper hadadvertised he would have been too busy to wrestle, and the acoident wonld never ave happonod. Moral : Advertise. Last leap year the Dexter Leader published a list of the village baohelors and now says a large number of the persons ■whose uames were printed added their naines to the list of benedicts at once. Strange to say the editor took his own advice and is now the head of a housebold. Thompson says if the Dexter girls don' t pop in the new of the moon he will again print names of the buttoniess gang. Charles Brant, a laboreremployed by the Chelsea Stove Works, wrote a mean letter to a girl of his acqnaintance. In it he asked her to meet him in a cerfcain place. He was on hand at the time aad place and so was the girl's father. Brant reoeived a good thrashing, was placed in jail and otherwise had it impressed upon his mind that in future he should exercise a certain amonnt of deceuoy in penning epistles to young ladies. Talk about astronomioal phenomenon. The most absorbing total eclipse we ever witnessed ocourred Tuesday evening about supper time, when the fuse wire at the power house burned out. The Devil was just washing his inky face and in the confnsion wiped that interesting member on a burlap oil rag of abont the cousistency of the office towel. More serions, however, was the loss of an inimitable clipping from the Adrián Press, which we had just stolen aud which will now be lost to onr readers forever. - Teoumseh Eerald. Ratber a shrewd piece of financiering wis accomplished one eveniog last week by a oonple of our young bloods. They caught a yonng fellow from Ypsilanti with more confidence and money than brains, aud succeeded in getting anioe llttle loau ont of him on a purported diamond pin, and thsn on the following day gave the jaspar the langh when he wanted them to redeem the pin. We will furthei say to the young men that we know for what purpose the money was used, and our adrice: "Better look a leddie out." - Howell Herald. John Smith whose only desoription is that he was when ayouth "red headed John Smith, " is wanted in Washington, where a fortune of $5,000 awaits him. It seems that John Smith, "red headed" John Smith, John Smith with freckles ia his face and a strawberry birth-mark under the shoulder bljde, went to Washington wheu a yonfch after he had sojourned in the gold mines of California aud the oil fields of Penn3ylvania, and then anJ there in America's city of iniquity and ueedless legislation did lend, bequeath, and allow to escape from his grasp certain snms of money, the interest on which at this time makes the total sum owiug h)R heirs some $5,000. After the Joan Mr. Smith, "red headed" Mr. Smith, of Wboopsilanti, Mr. Smith with hands horny with long toil and heart cast down by thoughts of having lent money where he wodld probably nover see it again, went somewhere in these wide and broad United States and did allow his spirit to leave the flesh. He aud his birth-mark were buned together bnt no one knows where; and now ihere comes a lawyer out of the land of senators and post offioe makers who has written letters to Ypsilanti and to other oities where the Smith family reside to ask thern if their genealogioal tree ever hada limb, shoot or branch which was oncj uamed John, "red headed" John Smith of Ypsilanti. If the birthmark is located on any of the progeny the snm will be seut them at once, less $4,999 law fees which has oconrred np to this time. It behooves the beirs of Mr. Smith to get a move on before the attornry fees will make it necessary for them to pay for being discovered. Iu Brooklyn township the supervisor statea there are bet ween three and four bundred dogs wbile he has been able to looate bat about 100 for his tax role. He bays around abont it's beiug a nice uote when the farmers won't come up and pay their dog tax, and the farmers say it's none of his dog-gone business if they do oonceal a few canines in tbeir'hats. Supt. Pattengill swnng the star 3pangled banner and twisted the lion's tail for a Milán audience ou Wednesday svening. "Pat" is sa f ast a talker that he appropriately calis his oration"Nanoy Hanks and the 19th oentury. "