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Monroe Democrat Clippings

Monroe Democrat Clippings image
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A brace of fakes selling "lost spectajles" cheap, tried it at Cirelsea, but the marshal sighted them throngh hia 'distance glass" and the sudden slope they made out of town was one of the amusing speotacles of the day. Ipsilendi, Yselanti, Ipsolanti, Eipaly - Ianti, Epysssillianty, Ypssyilanti, [pseylunty, Epoilanti, Apsalanta, Ipsilanta, Ypslnaty, Iselinykaa, Ebsalanda, Whyposulannty and Slipperyshanty are a few of the addietsses on letters which by some sort of instinct have managed to arrive at Ypsilanti. One of the letters aided the mail clerks by having the further address, "Worstofall" oounty. "Looks like I conld never get up 3team, this evening, " mnsed the engineer of the Dundee electric light works recently, as he glancd at the steam guage, noticed the register of twenty potmds and heav6d in some more fuel. Examining the steam guage after the safety valve had blown oíf, he fonnd the tube clogged. The thing had been trying to teil bim all the while aboufc the presssure, but couldn't do it. The night after Christmas 32 Monroeites were looked up in tbe oity lookup. Wan't a newspaper man left to write up the locáis till the fines had been paid. Qreat town that of Monroe. - Adrián Press. When the newspaper fraternity here had paid tbe Press man's fine, buught him a ticket for Adrián and seen him seated in the oar, he seemed so greatful that we looked for a oard of thanks in his nexfc issue, lnstead appeared the above. The mammoth button wood trees on the west bank of the river on River street were cut down yesterday. They are old landmarks that will be missed. - Milan Leader. Yes, the old settlers will always remember those dear old button wood trees. The pioneer days when those trees were thrifry and young and the ague stuck up four inches out of the ground, the settlers had few buttons to wear. It was then that they wrapped their coats around the truuks of those button wood trees and tied tbem there, by thej sleeves. The ague in those ooatp would soon shake down buttons enough tolast a wholefamily many months. E. L. Moore, of Milan, recently uudertook to tone up hissystem with whai he conceived to be bitreis bnt was in reality acouite. Mr. Moore had never aocustomed himself to aoonite as a beverage. and every time he expellpd bis breatb the fumes bnrned a hole iu the air. He sent for a dootor ta invoice his earrhly chancrs and might have invited in the minister to take an account of spiritnal stock, bnt the dootor was prompt - and tbe aconiteflwas no match for his skill. Mr. Moorfi is till alive and don,t care who knows it, and was able to attend his own 30tb wedding anniversary the next day ; bnt there is said to now exist acoolness between the undertaker and the dootor. Tbis is theway waltzing hits a Lambei'tville Micb., inaiden whose emotions are reportid by the faithñil scribe for the Reporter: "With one partner it is a soft insidious measnre, with the next a long and lauguorous movement,with the third more of a hop thatgently jars the brain into a delicions, dreamy forgetfulness while the fourth cavalier with a heroio tread bears yon away with strong and vigorons rythym into still another world. The lights of this go oút, yon lose consoiousness bnt yon feel no dread as yon lie within thse herculean arms like a ohild rocked to sleep in it's father's embrace." Well, by the entrancing light of the dancing Venus ain't that neat! Even in the "seré and yellow leaf" as we are, blamed if we don't mean to hobble out on the floor apthe "fonrth oavalier." Here,"devil!" bring ns that bottle of Dr. Fake'e sure cure linament for rheumarism !


Ann Arbor Argus
Old News