Patience Ceased To Be A Virtue

He caroe in and took a chair near our desk. We were bnsy writing a doublé leaded editorial in which large, courageous looking capital letters formed a good sized share. We had Webster's nnabridged open at onr side, and three lead pencils sharpened ready for business, while the "devil" stood by witha bntcher knife, ready to sharpen other pencils as f ast as we needed tbem. We had just annihilated England, done up Gerruany and planted the American hog in triuinph in Bei'lin, while France and Spain and Turkey stood trembling as they wondered when their turn was coming. Our think tank was seething and bubbling, and burning thoughts were fast finding utterance in words of fiery eloquence. Itwas then he carue in and sat himself down. He tilted his ohair back, elevated his feet to the top of onr desk and scattered enough of real astate ever our papers to raise next winter's potatoes. Then he laid his bat on the floor and sppke. "Fine day," said he. "Very fine," we grnnted. "Hope it will rain. " Again. "Bair's block is nearly finished. " We made no reply tothis remark. fis business pretty brisk?" We said it was booming, having just received three subscriptions. "Fine window of Mr. Lanzendorfer's," he continned. "Swartz's window is fine too. ' ' This annoycd us. Then he kept quiet for ten seconds. "Breckstein has a showy window," be gurgled. Then we laid down the pencil and closed the dictionary. "Punxsntawney girls can't touch Big Run girls for style. Glen Campbell girls are away ahead of your girls here. DuBois girls beat yonrs all hollow, " he went on. We are getting mad. "Brookville girls 'way ahead of yonr girls," said he. '"Way behind Eeynoldsville. Marchland girls much finer. " "What?" weyelled. "Richmond ladies more etylish, " he piped. "Richornnd bed d!" and then we choked. "You ain't in itwith Indiana girls." That settled the matter. Onr blood was up. We can stand a great deal, but ■wheu it comes to ranking our girls below Indiana girls that passes the outposts of patience. Sowe gave the fighting editor the tip and turned onr eyes away from the awful sight. The next day the coroner held the inquest. -