Monroe Doctrine From The Democrat

A Roscornmon ex-supervisor has pleaded guilty to stealiug two yoke of oxen. He was undoubtedly a member of the "Haw Buok" legislature. The Cbelsea Herald, worth $3,000, is for sale for $3,000. Editor Aliison is uow rich and oíd and wants to retire atid a tbousand dollars sacrifico seeins to hiin like a small tbing. The rumor is heralded frora Newport to a coiiity exchauge that the digestí ve organs of a oitizen there, "slipped a oog by eating sotnething that was too innch for them. " The inside facts are awaited with interest. A Dundeeite had a raging tooth aohe. A Duudee dootor jerked it ont, jackplaned, sandpapered aud polÍ8hed it, drove it baok in the patient's jaw and that is now a tooth that will grind boarding house steak without a grumble Several Jaokson restaurant keepers have been arrested for violating the olemargarine law. As a rule oleomargarineiis a betfier butter than the-product of oream as butter at this season usually exploits iself, but lacks that positivo self assertion that euables the average boarding house butter to manage its own affairs. Now on thesubjet of hogs the Dexter Leader, the snake season having closed, speaks up and says : ' ' One raised by G. S. Jewell weighted 840 lbs., and another weighing 630 lbs., raised by William Seadin. " Bigger hogs are seldoni fouud, except in railroad trains, where they sometiraes are seeu, with body in one seat and feet and grip in another, and giving an angry grnnt at any peisoii wanting part of one. Last leap year the Dexter Leader published a list of the village bachelors and uow eays a large number of the persons whose ñames were printed added their narnes to the list of benedicta at onoe. Strange to say the editor took his own advice and is now the head of the household. - Ann Arbor Argns Yes, things have chauged with Thompson sinoe four years ago. Then he was a sighing lover. Now he is a loring sire. The University art oollection, worth ha f a niillioii dollars, ;s stoweci uvy I ia the upper portion of the library buil - iug, with the most deniocratiodiarfgai of ubaracrer, s ariou or despee. T e b .sr of Martin Lather js ïvjiorted n oluse proxiiniry ro a rú muaflier, harbedfailed dtrvil - Luther hatnd il;, e devil - aud the sieru eyes of OJher Gromwell gaza with a sñonf glare ou tliK chjrms of the Sieepiug Be mty. ïhc f!i)i"l féatnres are rteoidedly heterani-ai x, aud were some persnusive Pyt'Jn.il ion to spnr the wrath ot' the gods into giving life to the nuirble, bronze and gypsam grouped in the orowded galíeiy, a re go of chaos, fata to the laws of goo I soc efy, ruusc ii evitirioly t'ollow. Ag iiu tnight ttie worlc behold Luther hurl hisink boitle at the hpnd of the devil. and perhups witrjfss rhe eliijiettieot of the Paritauic Vriinudhead'' with tho nwkeued beaury. Motikeys tnight ohatter in the "Tempie ol Jerasalem," aud apes spriug upoii the backs of the apostles. The revivifier lions would rnake a short ineal of Dauiel, despite a vigorous defeuse with his green umbrella, aud lick iheir choü for Nebuchadoezzar. The state troops would be oalled out to suppress the riol and the state jnada great expense. Tbe Courier wisd ■ suggests an art hall to the generosity of some wealthy ph;lo technic, anxious to rear for himself a monument in the hearts of the people. Let him come from his concealment.