Monroe Doctrine From The Democrat

A BelUvJle horre attaclud to a beer j ' Whgo;i, feil dowu the other day and ; ; has sílice done uo work. Beer in too inautfties works abont the same ' ou ïuèü aud other beasts. Day by day, as the suu ruounts higher and vhe ligbt grows stronger, Ypsiianti discerns more clertrly tiio tracks of the electric railway leading from th,t oity to Detroit. The hop3S oL Ypsilaüti are at a high voltage. "Ypsilanti sports recently defeated the Wilhsiíes in a cookfight ou the latter's gronnds and are crowiog over it through the Washtenaw Times. "Pride goeth I before i fall and hanghty spirit feefore destrucción." Let thera wait till the Willis poet Iets the amperage of his battery loose on them ! Eev. J. Ward Stone of Hilan, preached last Sunday evening on "Suggestions from tbe X Rays of Prof. Roentgen." It is said that when the 'X rays" were turned on several of the andience who kuew what they were doing, sqnirmed lika suakes in d, buruïng brush heap, espeoially the nflgodly wretch who "svippd" the e;der's clothes-line, nnderwear and all. The cathode X ray is a great thiug. One of our country editors stops the press and takes out an editorial on "The State of Our Country" to makè room for the ack'iowledgenient of "a generous supp5y of excellent sauerkraut" froman admiring patrón. This touching; tribute to the editorial character dieproves utterly the calurany that ten cent tickets to church socials and local dramatic entertainments in return for five dollar "puffs, " have calloused the heart of the editorial editor, till he no louger kuows what gratitude means. At a prominent Ann Arbor church one recent Snnday evening, the minister feit compelled to rebuke a flock of yonng peoplejwho were gossipping and gum chewing. This sent their noaes in the air at the snufflest place. They however got off very well. "I will pause in my retnarks, " sad a minister once, "until the young lady with tintod hair and 'cartwheel' hat, in the fifth ■pew back, on the right side, fourth person from the aisle, ceases chewing that quid of gurn, and may the Lord grant her a speedy conversión to good manners. " Certain false and malicious statements whioh from time to time have appeared in the Adrián Press, tonching in a vital manner the integrity, dignity and voracity of botb the literary and mechanical force of the Democrat, have herotofore been passed over with that most stinging of rebnkes, silent contempt ; but when the Lenawee assassinator of character rises up as it does in its last issue, wifch its S6rpent jaws dripping with reference to the stealing of Joe Pouchéa's chickens in tbe Third ward, that "chicken legs were found in Crampton's coat pockets, feathers in Smiths' whisker, and down on the devil's chin, bui; Joe never noticed it. He laid it to Toledo preachèrs, " we feel bound to assert fcbat the item as a whole is untrue. . The office had no "devil" when the Press slander was written ; therefore the a a unit, is a rhomboid, bi-sectional, oblique-angled parallogramatic lie, anS its author a traitor to the newspaper profession.