Monroe Doctrine From The Democrat

Clarence Gunn, a 15year-old j lauti truant, has been sentenced to the reform school, for going off. Aud yet if a gun won't go off, what is it pood for? Singnlar.but Guun was "pullid" by deputy Arms. Come up higher, Mr. Smitb, of 1 roa. Bill Nye is dead. - Aun Arbor Argns. Willing to oblige in any reai-onable manner bnt soma of ns should remain bere below. Tbe Monroe Dainoorat is 17yearsold, jnst tbat blushing age wlien it is pleasant to "go to press. " - Ann Arbor Argus. Age cuta no figure. Tbe Argns is sixty-two years of age and loves to "go to press "jast as well as it did forty-flve yeais ago. Prof. Calvin Thomas of the University has received an offer from the trustees of Coluinbia University to take the ohair of Gerinamc languages in place of the deceased Prof. Hjalmer Hjorth Boyeson. Prof. Boyeson's two front names dragged him down to an early grave. An Ypsilanti democrat, being asked if be wanted a "Pingree button" answered, "He is my man," and was theu led to the rear of a grooery store and presen ted with an enormous potato. When last notioed he was gliding back and forth, between the slats of a picket fence, and doing it easy. The stirring melo-drama, "In Old Kentuoky" was played at Adrián, last wefik. The most" stirring melo-drama" in "Old Kentucky" for years was the recent attempts to elect a United States senator; but it was not "stirring" at all times. There were spells when if auy man had "stirred," bis heart's blood would have eaked out through a dozen bullet holes. Conoerning f ree seats in St.Andrew's churoh, Ann Arbor, "Justioe" rises np in the Ann Arbor Conrier and is abont to pull the demnition bow-wows down over the head of an opposing writer, but pauses to remark that "it is a delicate thing to answer an anonyraous writer for you may be liitting a friend. " Trne. Was it Solomon, or Ben. Franklin, who said: "Don't kick a dog, nnless you are sure that he hasno master; then kick away, if you like?" Enraptured by the profuse eloqnenco with which "Mr. O'Grady of Sag naw," squirted oompliments over au audience of Ann Arb )r E ks the oth r evening, everybody applauded and voted Mr. O'Grady "a gentleman and a scholar," and all vied with the others in turning themselve3 throngh the til hoop in Mr. O'Grady's uanie, till they discovered that he was not "Mr. O'Grady," and indeed was no other than Ward, the home grown street commissioner who had received a clean shave, clean shirt, hair out, disguise snit, a new front tooth and a pair of spectaoles. Then they said he was a "Cheap Reube, " and at best a second or tbird rate orator, and will vote "agin" him at the spring eleotion.