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Monroe Democrat Items

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Clifford R. Shaw, of Saline, Waahtenaw, blesses the day when he was pitched dowu an embankraent through the faulfc of the township authorities and recovered $3,000 worfch of daraages, ■which he has just won in coort. O, Shaw! Pour new ohnrches have been dedioated in Ann Arbor dnring the paal year, and still the most unholy anathemas are exchanged between the mayor aud the late board of public works, almo3t nnder the very "droppings of the sanotuary. " A newly married man of Ypsilanti, who insisted on escorting a woman not his wife, despite the protest of the latter, snddenly feit his love warm toward his bride, when a orowd of men enoouraged him to accompany her or bask in the linipid ice water of the river. He was no bask er. Mayor Kirkpatriok,of Adrián, objects to pauper funerals at the expense of the city and insists that all "stiffs" who "went broke" before death, be sent to Ann Arbor, to enrich O)d Nagle's celebrated pickle tub, and subsequently come under the student's dissectiug knife to the tune of "Ca've 'im to de Ha't. The recent newspaper report that Charles Merritt, living north of Ypsilanti, had yielded up his ghost, was without merit.or otherwise Merritt is a reprehensible liar. He states with some vehemence that he is still alive and chewing his "cud;" but after all he may be one of that class of men who always think morethan any newspaper. The Adrián Press mentions the formation of a steel company at Ypsilanti and adds: "It is not a MoKinley club, and has no connectiou with this kind of steal industries, which rifle the pockets of the people, through protection." With no desire to stimulate a tarifï discussion, the Democrat nevertheless feels like rising to inquire whether a raan who has had his pockets rifled is not liable for cariying concealed weapous? A Tecnrnseh merohant tailor is authority for the statement that the style for trousers this season is to be "narrower legs and less spring." One can't teil. Because winter has held over a month or so, it does not follow there will be less spring. - Adrián Press. The Adrián Press will always "spring" a thing like that, or sumrner near it, whenever there's a chance. For soroe such joke Stearns may meet with an "early fall." "To thine own self be true,"was formerly the motto, over the door of the Normal hall at Ypsilanti, but one by one did the letters fall, till all that romain are these, "To thin. " Of course ;he usual way to spell "too' is with two "iio's" as an English cockney would say, but the second "o" only adds intensity, and as it stands the motto simply is moderately "thin." O, yes, about the cockney. He was nsked how to spell "saloon" and with ?reat grandiloqnence carne the response, "With a hess, and a ha, and a iel, two hos, and a hen." Last week the Ann Arbor Courier ublished a statement headed "An ïonest man's story. " It is noticeable hat it was not signed by anyone living n Washtenaw oounty though. - Adrián Press. No, nor Lenawee either. It was a Wayne county man. - Northville iecord. As the code of journalistio courtesy no louger permits a breach of veracity to be characteriezd by its old ime name, we will simply say that it was a Monroe county man ; but for the ïecord's benefit we will quote the words of a congresssman, who said : 'Mr. Speaker, I will not declare that ;he last gentleman who spoke concernng this infamous prooeeding is a liar, 'or that would be unparliamentary, but, Mr. Speaker, I shall always think o!"


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