Adrian Press Items

A folding bed "shut np" ou an Ann Arbor young lady Saturday night laBt week, and sbe narrowly eecuped witb her life, tbough in a nniversity town it would eeem as thongb an attraotive naaiden wonld have got used to fervent hngging. Whatever else yon may say ooncerniDg a folding bed, never tell it to "shut np, " if yon are "in it. " Adam Meuth, an Ann Arbor bntcher, becarne so aurionlarly distnrbed at the "damnable iteration" (Shakespeare) of an engine whistle at tbe carpet oleaniug works - rerninding bim so mnob of the bellowiug of the poor beeves he had slaughtered - tbat be called on tbe owner of the whistle to abate the recolleotion. The owuers proinptly smasbed his shoulder out of joint with a chair and now a suit for assault and battery is on the carpet. The univeraity Palladinm, Castalian and Res Gesta have been consolidated under the name of the Micbiganeusiunj, and twelve (12) editors wiü sit around the board and supply the gray matter. Tjhe Alichiganeusium is uot of the megatberinm species but belongs to the generatiou of tbe Ringtailed Roarers, If it ever gets away irom its keepers, the words of Artemus Ward's showman will apply: "Save yqurselves geutlemen ! The giasticutus is loose!" Miss Carrie M. Jackson, editor of tbe Jlilfoi'd Times, was recently ded to her foieinan, Graut Roe. Now we look to see some editorial griffiu grind ont his "gaff"' about Roe "pressing" her "form" in loving "em braoe," popping the"?" and waiting dnring the "period" of her "pause" for the " !" "O, Roe me, O!" If any newspaper monster, so ink lined, rises np in bis jungle, it will become the dnty of the editorial brotherhood to "ohase" him with a "shooting-stick" and leave him "off his feet" for tbe crows to "piek up, " or "distribute" as "dead matter." A three-footed chicken is amoüg the chattels of Mr. and Mrs. Geo. Shutes. It has the ordinary two legs and feet, and the third scratcber branches ont of its right leg near the body. - Milau Leader. That sort of chicken was tried up in Manchester and proved a failure. It was found that when the two feet Fnpplied by providenoe, had nucovered au angle worm, or a hill of sweet corn iu a Deigbbor's garden, the scratcher provided by the Old Sctatch and hiuged tbe opposite way, got in its work and oovered up the food again,. The chicken starved to death.