Adrian Press Items

Joseph E. Gage soes Pittsfield township, Washtenaw, for $5,000. He Btrnck a hole in the road when he feil form his wagon. He swears thit it was a defectivo hole and he has been defactive ever sinec. The Ypsilantian is gratefnl to the mayor for a mess of speokled trout. The mayor of Ypsilanti will please look us sqnarely in the eye. Now then - when yon took tbose trout, did yon, or did yon not, spit on the tines of ytur epear, as the law reqnires? Lewis, the Urbana forger, arrested in Washtenaw, was given a sentenoe of eight years in the penitentiary. The snm of the forgaries was about $250,000, whioh moves the Washtenaw Times to the refleotion tbat $31,2 50 a year "is pretty good wages." Yes, a little less than tbat of the "advance agent cf piosperity. " Bnt for the established credibility of the Ann Árbor Conrier, the Press would refuse to believe the charge brought by that paper against two Vpsilanti aldermen, who are stated to have been canght "using water, against the mies." As it is undonbtedly their first offense, we trust tbe penalty will be suspended. It is nnlikely that they will tranegress again. A year ago, after an entertainment with great flnanoial resclts, the Ypsilanti Ladies' Library building was burelarized of the whole "fat take." On the heels of the last annual success oarue the annual burglar; but thistime he '"feil off bis wheel." He was in the building on time, but was surprised at the pronounced and emphatio manner in which the $100, lately oleared, was not there. At Qeddes, Washtenaw, last week, fishermen saw as plain as day, a woman with a rea skirt lying at the bottnm of the pond. A spear brought up a chunk of flesh and a smell that would have made a limburger oheese microbe throw up its commission. That smell led a thousand people by the Dose. The pond was drained and - phew ! soine slanghter house refuse in an old red tatter, told in language for the deaf, the story of the tragedy. An intoxicated Ypsilantian with a revolvar and knife called on Fr. Kennedy the other evening, and loudly implored the good man to save him from hiruself. The priest throttled the snakes and disarmed the man. who seemed to feel himself in the position of the new P9ttler, wbo, to. save himself from the panther canght him by either paw, with a tree between himself and the beast, and yelled to "sonny," "In God's name come and help roe let this panther go." Last night a lady attempted to take a fiying leap from the car at tbe corner of Main and Hurón sts. A header was the result, and the young lady was so mixed up that she went two blocks in the wrong direotion before coming to herself. - Washtenaw Times. Certainly, and a "header" is the regular result with many ladies in leaving the street car. A ïriend of ours expeoted his wife down town, and watcbed for her. A lady dismounted from a car a block away and we said, "There is yonr wife." "That is not my wife," said our friend, "ray wife always gets off before the car stops, faces rearward and falls down." In a few minutes another car appeared, a lady sprang off, face to the rear, and feil down. "That's my wife!" said onr iriend, jubilantly, "didn't I teil you?" And so it was.