O Chicago, hovv great you wonld be if you were only goocl like Kalamazoo! - Kalamazoo City Chat. There is now a scherue on hand to bake the Chicago river and turn it into a BOlic brick speedway. - Hemphis Commercia Appeal. St. Louis can poultica her wounded pride vrith tbe reflection tbat Dr. Nansen didn't come withln huudreds of miles of the pole. - Kunsas City Journal. A Chicapo mau who was out of work resolved to drown himsolf in the lake, bu( later grew more despondent and decidcd to go to Milwaukeo. - Chicago Xews. A New York scientist exultingly announces that he "has disco vered the secret of sleep. " We have feit sura all nlong that thePhiladelphiamystery ulrunatcly would be solved. - Chicago Times-Herald. Charles Broadway Rousb has presented to the city of New York a fine statue group of Washington and Lafayette, by Bartholdi. Mr. Kouss is blind, but even a blind man could see New York 's need of good Btatues. - Buffalo Express. The poolrooms must. go. Poolroomgamblers must realize onoe for all that their day is past in St. Louis. The sooner they realize this and accept the inevitable, t he better for thom. 'The poolroom fialit Is a flght to a finish.