Laughing Gas

Kind party: "If I give you this penny, what will you do with it?" Tattêrs (sarcastically) : "I'H be honest with you, guv'ner. I'll spend it in riotous living."- Tit-Bits. "No, father," the fair girl said, "Mr. Allingham m&y not be rich, but his heaYt is in the right place." "Humph!" retorted the crusty old doctor, "you've had your ear against it.eh." - Cleveland Leader Jennie: "Why do you always ake that old tWng out? It's the worstlooking norse ia tHe atable." May: "Papa bougtot him very ohgap aod I'm foul of drtving bargains,"- phia Record. On the Way Home. - Jimmy: "Didn't you hear the Sunday school teacher say your conscience is what tells you when you do wrong?" Tommy: "It's a good thing it don't teil your mother." - Puck. Greymair: "My wife is such a thougtotful woman." Betterhaws: "So's mine. You couldn't imagine all the things she thinks about me if I happened to be detained downtown."- Cincinnati Enquirer. First Sunday School Scholar: "How far have you got in the question book? We've got as far as 'original sin.' " Second ditto: "Oh, we've got by that long ago. We are 'Past redemption.' " - Boston Transcript. "Of course," said Farmer Corntossel, "I want to see my country get along. And there's no gettin' around the fact that England and us have sentiments in common. But I don't want any Anglo-American alliance." "But that's merely a name." "That's what I don't want it to be. Look at the Farmers' Alliance. That's merely a name, too, an' I want this un to amount to