Smith's Gingersnaps

   Something ought to be done to stay the destructive feud between the Chelsea and Grass Lake editors and citizens of the respective towns who are hurling the most deadly adjectives at each other. It all come from trade rivalry.

    During services in St. Andrew's church, Ann Arbor, Sunday morning last week a goat wandered into the chancel and was squaring off at the minister when the usher, divining his purpose, run him out. It is not known what gruage the goat had against the good man, but it is hinted that one of his sermons which the animal had chewed up disagreed with him.

    The consolidation of the Ann Arbor Democrat with the Argus has produced a red-hot double-ender. Ward, the Democrat editor, is running for state senator on the silver ticket and his paragraphic editorials form a lurid torch light procession. It is said that they are written on asbestos paper to prevent combustion and the "devil" carries the "copy" to the printers with tongs. Editor Beakes, of the Argus, had been keeping his paper in a high state of incandesence although not well married to_the silver theory. The Argus-Democrat is by the combination a very able hyphenated blood-bucket and withal a valuable exchange.

    The Washtenaw jail is terribly overcrowded and bas been for a long time. There are those outside who have rights there which are denied them. A recommendation for a new jail is before the board of supervisors. The jail roster shows that 178 men and eight women have found accommodations there in the past six months. Of these 115 went up for being drunk. Their plea was that the water was bad. A short time ago a temperance lecture was given by a university professor who illustrated with a microscope. Said the professor: "I have here some swamp water containing microbes. Viewed under the glass you observe that they are alive and squirming. Now, to show the deadly effects of alcohol, I will add a drop to this water." He did so and every microbe instantly straightened out "as stiff as a mackerel." "That settles it !" hiccoughed a cardinal nosed bum who had staggered to the front, "that settles it, an' I'll - never - drink - any more wazzer - long's I live - wizzout some (hic) whiskey in it." He immediately became one of the 115 who went to jail for drunkenness in the past ix months.