Smith's Gingersnaps

Snap Shots From the Pen of E. J. Smith of Jackson Herald.

A premature explosion of powder, as he was preparing for a flashlight photo, severely burned a photographer at Ypsilanti, and he made the worst face! He has taken a negative view of the flashlight business ever since.

Alice Hurd, of Harbor Springs, loses her case against the state. A deer jumped at her cow and broke bossy's neck. Mrs. Hurd states that she could have shot the deer, during the fight, but the deer law restrained her.
She sued for her cow, and the heartless attorney general held that she had the right to shoot the deer in defense of her butter reservoir and failing to do so has no claim on the state.

Thomas Ninde, who banged a bullet into the shoulder of an Ypsilanti waitress, has been discharged, because (1) the girl didn't wish to prosecute him, and because (2) a number of prominent men of Ypsilanti didn't want him prosecuted, and because (3) it was claimed that Ninde was not in his right mind.
Many people who shoot are now in the penitentiary, for neglecting to have their friends petition for their non-prosecution.

While our government, by an increase of its army and navy, is preparing to do so much for honor and humanity abroad, Manchester is petitioning the Lake Shore company to do a little home missionary work, and erect a depot in place of the dirty old cockroach den that disgraces the dignity of a smart, self-respecting town with five churches and eight saloons. The local missionary movement is headed by Supervisor Burtless, a man of much vigor and public enterprise.

The appearance of Charles Perrin, as he struck Jackson last summer, was not in harmony with the amount of coin found on his person when he was searched by Chief Boyle, and his story that he was Senator Teller in disguise was regarded as a lie, and this proved to be the truth ; for he was a burglar who was wanted at Ypsilanti. In the circuit court Tuesday Perrin pleaded guilty, and for his honesty was rewarded with an appointment of two years in the penitentiary.

The answer of Selby A. Moran, to the libel suit of Sheriff Judson, of Ann Arbor, revives recollection of the defense put in against a dog bite. Defendant swore as follows: - 1st. My dog is a very good natured dog and wouldn't bite anybody. 2d. My dog is so old that his teeth have all dropped out and he couldn't have bitten Mr. Brown if he wanted to. 3d. My dog was chained up in the woodshed and could not get at Mr. Brown. 4th. My dog died six months ago. 5th. I never had a dog.

Prof. Jacob Reighard, of the U. S biological survey, in a recent Ann Arbor lecture, proved that the great lakes of America are in a state of poverty as to food supply, on account of deep water and lack of bays and shallows to promote water vegetation, on which the crustacea depend for food. The professor extols the lakes of Europe over those of our country. On this showing our duty is plain. While we are in the business, we must seize the foreign lakes in the name of humanity and annex them to the United States.

Judge Harriman, of Ann Arbor, is preparing to discuss the question. "Are we justified in sending millions of money to the heathen in foreign countries for the purpose of converting them to Christians, when millions of people in our own country are spiritually dying for the want of the same care and teaching?"
If the collections were honestly turned over, there might be force in the affirmative of the question, but as a rule the deacons who take the collections do not turn in the brass buttons. It has been shown that there are millions of heathen whose suspenders (when they wear anything to suspend) are hitched up with shingle nails, - all on account of the embezzeling deacons.