An Immortal Sneeze

AN IMMORTAL SNEEZE

Which Will Not Soon Be Forgotten.

ENTRANCED LISTENERS

Were Awakened by a Hay Fever Patient.

Who Flourished a Bandana and Looked Around in Surprise.---How Prof. Stanley's Great Symphony Was Rudely Broken in Upon.

When E. J. Smith was on the Argus editorial staff a few years ago, he attended the dedication of the World's Columbian organ at university hall and heard a sneeze which he immortalized by and article in the Argus which was widely quoted and which is yet referred to by many of its readers. Smith writes so many funny things and it woulld not have been surprising if he had forgotten this incident but that he has not done so is indicated by the following retelling of the incident in an altogether different manner in the Jackson Sunday Herald. The Frederick Stearns collection, which he donated to the university museum, embraces about 1,000 rare musical instruments, which the donor spent 15 years and a vast sum of money in procuring. Upon every one of the instruments it is said Mr. Stearns can play, with the ease that Prof. Stanley combs and braids and twists the chords of the Columbian organ into a rope of such exquisite harmony, that a suicide, seeking a happy exit, would give his life for that rope that he might hang himself with it and die in ecstasy. And speaking of Prof. Stanley-the only instance in which he ever failed to enchain his hearers from the first to the last of his performance, was during the dedication of the Columbian organ. He was in the midst of a symphony so soft, so celestial, so "three P," that the angels sat down their golden harps and harkened. The house was as still as death. The four thousand breaths would not have stirred a feather. Four thousand necks were "rubbered." Eight thousand eyes were on Stanley. All Heaven and earth had paused to listen. Then an auditor in the middle of the hall exploded a sneeze that would have cracked a cauldron kettle, and the enchantment was "off." Instantly the house was in an uproar, while the grip patient flourished a bandana which he used to good effect and gazed on the audience with a look that seemed to say, "I wonder what is the matter?" Strong arms caught the fainting professor and hartshorn was shoved under his nose. He revived after a time, but wore a wild, hunted look for the remainder of the evening.