He's Wise Now

HE'S WISE NOW

Declares that No Girl Can Use Him for a Dray.

Washington Post: "You don't catch me ever doing anything for any girl again as long as I live," said the young man with the polka dot band on his hat. "No, siree. I was an easy mark once, but I've got wise to myself now. Miss Peach went to Cape May last Thursday, and when I heard she was going I had to break in and ask if I might come up and carry her bag to the train. I was bound to make a grand stand play with her, you understand. She said I might, and you couldn't have held me. I was up at her house before the doors were open, and there she was with a bag the size of a trunk, all knobby and lumpy on the outside from the things she'd jammed into it - you know how a woman packs -puts five Saratogas full of things into one small steamer trunk and gets the janitor to sit on the lid so it'll go shut. Well, that's the way Miss Peach's bag was packed.and it weighed a ton at that. I picked it up gayly - it and a crate of umbrellas and parasols, and a box of candy, and a basket of fruit, and a rug and a jacket and a bandbox and a bundle of magazines and a few other trifles, and we set off. When we got to the station I lugged the things into the waiting-room, and sat down with the bag on my knees. Pretty soon I looked down and there was a stream of something black running out of it and soaking my new gray trousers. Did that girl say she was sorry? Did she say she was a born fool for packing things like that in a bag? Did she tell me I was an angel of light? No, she didn't. She just looked at me haughtily. 'Oh, Mr. Skaggs,' says she; 'there you've gone and spilled all my shoe polish, How awfully careless of you!' Never again, and you watch me. No more helping girls get out of town for me. They're all selfish brutes. girls are, and I'm a wise guy to learn it so early."