Ann Arbor And Ypsilanti

Ann Arbor and Ypsilanti

As Seen Through the Eyes of the Adrian Press.

Editor Pro. Tem. E. J. Smith Roasts a Number of the Twin City Citizens this Week.

Mrs. Elizabeth Cromie, of Ypsilanti, received a telegram from her husband out west that he will be home in a few days. She had not heard from him in 20 years. She should see that the water in the tea kettle is scalding hot when he arrives.

Arthur Ganung, of Washtenaw, after getting a three years' sentence to prison, announces that when he has served his time he will kill the complaining witness, the prosecuting attorney, the jury and Judge Kinne. All express a willingness to wait the three years.

It has cost Washtenaw the past year $1,216 to provide entertainment for the various Railroad Jacks and other wanderers who have settled within its borders. Yet they do say that one can scarcely step out doors on a dark night, without stumbling over a great chunk of McKinley prosperity.

Rev. Dwight L. Moody has sent a telegram to Ann Arbor canceling his evangelical engagement there, alleging a severe cold. This is perhaps Mr. Moody's diplomatic method of getting out of what seemed to him a hopeless task. But he should not have based his opinion of Ann Arbor on the unconvertible looks of Beakes, Hammond, Beal, Moran, et al. He might go to Helber and get a very different impression.

Leander Alley said concerning Daniel Hoey's horse, that he was a knock-kneed, saddle-backed, wind-galled old reminiscence of the barbarous ages; or at any rate his discourse was such that Hoey became aggrieved and jumped into Alley with feet and fists flying. The remains of Mr. Ally sued Mr. Hoey in the Washtenaw circuit and recovered $400. Hoey, who is good for the judgment, will pay it and hereafter set 'em up on some other alley.

Ex-Mayor Jos. T. Jacobs, late of Ana Arbor and now of Detroit is a republican candidate for alderman of the Fourth ward already. This is so sudden! Mr. Jacobs has not long inhaled the fumes of natural gas and official corruption in Pingreeville; but a sniff or two has set his brain in a whirl and he is breathing hard and fast and trying to "catch on" to the tail board of the gold trust band wagon. Ah, Joseph, listen not to the honey guide of Detroit politics. In other words, Joseph, don't be an igiot. Come off! Sit down! Cheese it! Stay where you are at. There is no honesty in the crowd you would adopt and your brethren will cast you into a pit, Joseph, even as Joseph of old was cast into a pit by his brethren; and the will sell you into Egypt, Joseph, or sell you out; and don't imagine, Joseph, that they will let you become the chief Pharaoh, or even the king's chamberlain; or that you could preserve your present purity against the enticements of the Mrs. Potipher of pot-house, Pingree politics. Joseph don't!

The republican unhappiness heretofore existing between Pingree's Boss Judson and Kicker Selby Moran of Ann Arbor, is ended. The fight was called off, and settled out of court. When Judson was sheriff, the Register said that Bill Judson tampered with an election. Bill had Selby snatched up for criminal libel, probably expecting to jail him and get pay for his board. But on a technical flaw in the proceedings, Moran was discharged and at once sued for $10,000 damages for false imprisonment. The republican party has looked on and wrung its hands in helpless distress ever since Jud and Selby began ripping each other's vitals, but finally succeeded last week in stopping the fight, and it is all off. Weak with loss of blood, the two locked arms and tottered to the wash basin, after which osculations and swearing themselves brothers took place. "How good a thing it is, and how pleasant to see brethren dwell together in unity. It is like the oil that ran down the beard, even Aaron's beard." Selah!

The Ann Arbor high school boys out-ran, out-kicked, out-punted and out-tumbled the boys of the Adrian high school last Saturday football, winning a game by a score of 12 to 6. In the first half both sides got a touchdown, a goal, a kick and a count of six. In the second half, Peterson, of Ann Arbor, picked up the pigskin and scooted away so fast that the wind couldn't catch him, and he was within six feet of the line before the boys could check him. The Adrian team had the ball about as near their own headquarters once, but their fullback, or quarterback got a pull back till it was half back and then came Peterson's sprinting, which would not let the ball come back, and after they got a touchdown, they kicked goal and piled six more points to the score, and when the last half was ended, the Adrian kids were without further benefits, except tangled hair, red faces, dirty clothes and quick respiration. A number of citizens went down and enjoyed the contest. The game is pronounced an exceeding good one for both sides.