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The Vegetables Have A Masquerade

The Vegetables Have A Masquerade image
Parent Issue
Day
6
Month
February
Year
1880
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

The vegetables had a masquerade ball. The Watermclon wore a watered silk. The Cucumber came ia a green tarlatan and treatod everybody coolly, resenting the exelaination of' the awkward vegetables that trod on her train and cxclaitued: '"llero is a pretty pickle." The Caulittower came to cali off the dance, and wanted hi.s celery cash down. The Kgg Plant was dresscd iu purplc, nnd -rrould have iu;ilc n 1ÏUÖ Bppeacance but lor limited conversational powen, being only able to reply "Eggsactiy" to all the reniarks that were addreased to it. The Lettuee fatnily were on hand, but very exclusive. All they asked was, "Lettuee alone." The Mustaul was Bèemingly arrayed in yellow satin, but coinplaitiod of the heat and wanted to poultice another young lady, who observed that it was pleasant to seo so many good people ïuustered together. Old ilr. l'a Soipi and Mr. Carrot were on hand with their nvo sons, Thomas W. and Judas I- Thiirnas W. Pasnip and Judas Iscariot. Also promptly arrived old Mr. Bull-Nosed Pepper, wno bogan a (luarrcl with a Beet, because the laUer termed hia lan'uage pepper-tance. Next to Mr. Pepper stood Mr. Potato, woaring a blue ribbon, and laiming to be oneoí' the originators of the Murphy niDvciiicnt. Jle declined to dance, saymg lic had an eye out for the prettiost woiiKiii in the r ioqj. He took a back seat, however, when Sweet Potato came sanntering in and was dcclarod by the ladics to be "tuo weet for anytliini;." Tl:e Tomato enjoyed hipoself hugely. He wanted to catch up with the niusie and trip the light fntatic tmn:i t . During the dance ,1 young Rhubarb atalked across tlie floorand trod upon the gouly Tonmto, for which !)'■ w.is donounoed as a Rhubarbtriao. At iotermission a band of younjr ('araways got hifih and reeled into the ball room, eineing, "We'll drive dull C'araway." Thciv was also a disagroeuient between the Taroijp and EUdish families. One ol' (hc foriner tamil; was heard 1 1 declare that a female member of 'ho latter liiinily had a Tiirniii nose. to which t.h Tiirnip replied th.it Hm EUdiah'fl nose wa.-i alway reddfoh, aml she sbould like to pull it. Vouiifi 3 1 r Lima l!'.':in osulted hiamotfaer on the fioor. Ele aaid, "Vou Li-ma," wharmpM Mr. lfean poúd hiiii on the spot. The wvnltliy Mr. Öoru MUM lato- he was of the late kind. Mr. Corn was silked out to kill, bat the ohildreo jrere :ill smit (koed and Bpiodle-Bhaaked. Young Mr. liunker üill Heuns, of Botten, mi reoo;uized tliroii{,'li p btuim1. He woro a bag domiqo, wliicli he had untied on ac ooudI of ihiï heat. 8o it bappened that wheti Mr. Bquasb eante up, put èut hi f'eeler and cxc'aimijd: "fieaas, old boy, howareye?" Bausiaplied; "llowdid you come to know nic, S,uash?" "Oh ! 1 know Beans vheo ih' bag s untied," responded Squash irnyly, a he whirled a eriiokneck into the luidst of' the. waltz. It was an amuailM siht in the moroing to Mr a iSavory Cabbage rolling into a barber's shop to liavci his head rubbed up, with the oomplaiot that liis hir curled and - At this pointa ptetaraaoBC lookiag cliap acrosn the -treet beckoncd ibr the classic Bobemian to come that way, and as he thougbt he detected a liquid insinuatioo in the wave of' the other wanderer's hand, he made haute to go to his eoinpany. Scène at Dinner. - Young Siwpkins bas been studying in vain on some uieans of opeirini; conversation witli lnsfair ncighbor - so lar a total failure - happy thought - ba ril! uk ber if sha Iotm imm ' At will say ; " Yes, do yüu" - he will auswer : " Ye', game of' carda" - ynung lady will laugh at joke and rcpiMt t hftf oeighbor, UM Simpkms will bc suiiled od. SimpkiriM i.-k.s the question - young lady says " no " - confusión of Siiiiiikiiis, and cauversation

Article

Subjects
Humor
Old News
Ann Arbor Courier