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Variety And Spice

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The man who cannnt take caro of money ia not fit to take care of a wilc. " Mr. Jones will picase take the chair," as Mrs. Jones said wlien they were moving. One evil doed will spoil a whole life, as one drop of ink will chango the color oí' a goblet of water. The attempt upon the life of the Czar of Kussia was a Mosoow-ardly thin;;.- [Boston Kvery Saturday. An ex-alderman in Syrácuse tnarrled lus cook. It wasn't threu weeks befare she feil heir to $120,000. Agreat many laymen talk in thoir sleep, and an ci)ual number ofclergymen sleep in 1'. Herald. The New Orleans Pioaynna calis the gout a sort of brake which a wise l'rovidence puts on a man's lega when hu is living too last. A tongue tliat delights to pive good cheer is an inestimable ble&sing, but a tongue that tattlea ia worsc than ivu coals in the hand. A now commentator declares that the reason " tho boy stood om th' lmrning eek," was, because it was too hot to git owu. A man having fallen down in a fit in a ailor's shop, an envious rival said : " That s the only fit ever soon in that establishment. " Young man, if at first you dou't sneceed m standing up on a pair of .skates, " (ra, try again." It will make lots of fun fbr crowd.- [New Haven Register. "Do animal rewist temptation ? " a.-ks Popular Scieace, aod the u.iitur theorizes on the subject lor three hoüre, ii.stead of goiugout and niakiiiíí a pruclical experiment by shakïng ;i red flag ata gpat. üoston l'.ist. The mn always ab'lboa wlien the heart i glad, and we are content to say, " The sun is above the clouds." But when the heart is heavy tho sun ncver sliines and we are blind to everything ihat i., boautiful.- [De Gray. Poverty overtakes him who says, " 'Tis too cold, 'tis too hot, 'tis too late," and neglects his daily worlc ; but he who, perforiuint tí nianly duties, reeks not a straw for heat or culd, his kappioesa shall not dec;iy. lioston eyes are the poorest of the world. W hile a bystander on a fashionable street of Boston was taking notes, he ?;iw in an hour and a halt; fifiy five people who wore eye-glasses. Thirty-lbur wero ladies and twenty-one were men. Professor tótephonon. af the Hayden surveying parly ia .V w Mexico, says that the Aztecs are a niytli. and tbat the tribc of Tndians kmwn n tho cliff-dwellors are to M crodited with all the rmnanec attachiog to tho Axtcc uan.c. " You are iiiy treasure, after all," said anold repróbate, striving to plácate hiswif'e alter abusing lier tbr an hour or two. "OM, yes,1' hlie sareastieally answered, " that's the reasoo, I supposo, you wish me dead so often , you are seeking to lay your treasure up in heaven." He entered a car, whon a brakeman carne inside and took a key out of liis pocket, unlocked the stove, put in some wood and locked the door again, and he asked bim what he locked the stove door for. The brakemam shut his lef't eye and said be locked the door so the tire couldn't go out - [Troy Times. A bridal party approached the hymenial altar and the clergyman proceeded with the service; "Wiltthou, Mary, take," etc, be inquires. " Naw !" is the reply. " What ! " cries himself the good pastor ; " if you don't want to tnarry tuis gentleman why didn'tyou sayso sooner? What made you wait till the moment of' the ceremony?" " Because, sir, you are the ñn-t :erson that has comlesceuded to ask my advice or consent in the matter." The night is pitch dark, and the eomvirtment in the car is crowded. An honI pcasant would like to take a Iittle nap, jut his huge threocornered hat is in bis way.and he does not seo what to do with t. " Here, put t in the cupboard, my good man," saya a commercial traveler, opening the window. The drowsy peasant complies, munnuriug his thanks and exressinK Lis ignorutioe of' the ways of the uil, and fallí intoa sweet, refreshjng aleep, luring wliieh time the commercial traveler tets into another couipartment. - [Eoglish 'aper. It was at the Postoffice in thii village. ?he demoiselle was buxom, bashful, aed ighteen, and hailod trom Berrytown. She ranted a dollar's worth of-stamps. " One lollar's worth," repeated thosmilingassistnt; "of whatdenomination 'l " The damel 800 wed Bignsofembarranmeot, and hestated toreply. She twirled lier shawl fringe ervou.sly, cast berevea about to see if any ne was near, moved a Iittle elueer to the window, and finally iriréd in :i timorous oice, "Do you hef' to writo itdown?" ' By no nieaiis," anwureil the courteous asviaot; " that is nut ncccs.sary ; but I iresume you have some preferenoe as to ie denomination. "Ah- well- yes," reilied the IMmèr, hwjfeofl turning fcarlet, hev somo. I gem i:iliy ?o to (he 'l'iscoal Methoili i niy.M-1!', but the telloiv Tui uyine the tumusfr he's a Universal lodox."


Old News
Ann Arbor Courier