Wit And Humor

Always loanly - Borrowers. Clerical errors - long tiermoos. It's a snoezy thing to take snuff. Home rule - Your wife's opinión. Among the things that wear - Corduroy pants. The shortest joke often makcH the longest run. How does a stove feel when full of ooals ? Grate-full. Tho wniiiiMi who do fancy work do not t'aney work. lic is happy who has conquered laiiucss odcc Dd foiever. U's snap dufrrred that maketh tbe heart sick - of the spectator. The fi-h wurm is not ho fut as tbe gruh and oatcrpillar is the plunip-est. It may raise the dickens, but we'd like to inquire did 01 ver Twist old Fagin's nose? Has any one reuiarked that " Couiim? through tbe Kye " is not a " Bourbon hallad ? R The Maid of Orleans was finally caught, though she did keep D'Arc during her entire career. Jloesyour mot her know your route ? asked Torn whon C'harlcy aud his bride starled od their wedding tour. The girl with the euipty pooket-book is the one that Iooks into jewelry windows most. No use trying to rouse any enthusiasm in a carpenter ; he always keeps his spirit level, If a hotel clerk smiles pleasantly when you ask him a question, that's a hign he hasn't been there long. InNorway, every fourth day brings rain. That's a fearf 'ui country for a man to attempt to lay up money in. The heart that ia xoonost awake to the flowers is always the first to be toucbed by tUo thorus. J 'i-XlXk_I Bread is the staff of lite, and liquor the stilte - tbe formersustaininga man, and the latter elevating him for a fait Nothing is so fatal to the romance of a kiss as to have your girl sneezc at the very climax of oscultation. Men of genius make the best husbands ; a fooi has too good an opinión of hiinself, and too poor a one of wouiao, to be e isily governad. If uiany óf ns knew the extent of the Lord's information we should take less trouble to inforni Him that we are poor miserable sinners. No man, while unhappy, eau show t'orth a true, noble maphood. Every thing short ofcheer is medicinal, and medicine not made for daily ue. Sweeten a dose of unwholesome lavice" with a liberal allowance of taffy and the recipiënt will not recalcitrate. The force of the adage, " Words are cheap," ia somewhat lost when you go to tbe telegraph office to send a cablegmm. An Irishinan, sering a vessel heavily la den and scarcely ahove the water's edge, exclaiined: " Upon my soul if the river was but a little higher the ship would go to the bottom."