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How President Lincoln Had The Small-pox To Escape A Bore

How President Lincoln Had The Small-pox To Escape A Bore image
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PhlladelDhia Times. Qen. Briebin. One day not long aftor Mr. Lincoln issued his coianci pation proclamation, Mr. Wade camc in laughing all over his face and said : "Well, oíd Abe has just done the d - dest thing you ever heard of. Ho hasgiven out he has the sinall-pox, to keep the politiciausand office-seekers away froni the white houe." The story ran thus: Mr. Wade wentto the white house to see Lincoln who had been ill. He found the president a little palé, but jolly 'as he could be. "Sit down, Mr. Wade, I am piad to see you. Oh, I have the funniest thing to tel you ; it will niake you laugh. I never did sueh a thing before in my life, and never will again." Then (he president laughed until the tears ran down hia cheeks. "Now, Wade," he said, "you are not to repeat this outside, for it would give offense, and it by no manner of meane comports with the dignity which is supposed to hedge a president about. The doctor put me up to it to rid myself ot' a bore ; I ought not to have done it, but I couldn't help it, it was so funny. You know I have boen ill, and a great many people have wondered what ailed me, but none of thenj could find out. The truth is I was worried to death and talked sick pretty uiuch by one man, the most everlasting bore you ever saw, who wantod an office. I knew he would come again as soon as I was able to sit up, and the doctor put me up to get rid of hini by saying I had the small-pox. I only got out yesterday, and sure enough tb is tuorning he called on me. I had determinod to be pulite to him, but he stayed so long the humor seized me and I senl for the doctor, (living him the wink, I held out my hand and inquired : " 'Doctor, what marks are those on my hand?' " 'That's varioloid, or mild small"pox,' said the doctor. "'Well,' said I,1 'it's all.over me. It's contagious, is it not, doctor?' " ' V ery contagious, indeed,' he replied, 'and you should see no one!' "My visitor, who had been getting more and more nervous every moment, now could stand it no jonger, and rising, i-aid : " 'Well, Mr. Lincoln, I can't stop any longer. I jui-t called to see how you were,' and thon he started to hurry out. " 'Staf a minute ; I wantto talk toyou,' said 1, 'about that office.' " 'Excuse me, Mr. President. You are not well this morning, and I won't bother you,' said he, shoving toward the door. " 'Never niind,' said I, 'don't be in a hurry. It's all right, and if you are going to got the varioloid you will get it now anyhow ; so you might as well sit down.' " 'Thank you, sir, but X II cali again,' he replied, fairly turning livid and executing a masterly retreat from the fearful contagión with which he supposed rae to be afflicted. " 'Now,' said Únele Abe, 'it will be all over the city in an hour that I have the small-pox, and you can contradict the story, but I want you to promise you won't repeat what I have just told you.' " Wade laughed until he was weak, and when he could get his breath sufficiently to speak he looked at the clock, as was his custom, and said : "Now for a little business, and then I will go." "Don't go," cried Únele Abe, and laying his head in his hands on the desk in front of him, he laughed until he shook all over. Presontly raising up his face from between his hands he wiped his eyos and blew his pose until the report sounded like the winding of a hom. After anoiher fit of laughing he said : "Wade, you should have seen him, and how scared he was. I'll bet that fellow never comes back here while I am president." As might have been expected, hardly had Mr. Wade quitted the white house when he heard the president had the smallpox and was very sick. Wade promptly contradicted the story, but that night it was telegraphed all ovc-r the country, and many people will yet remember Üm story of Mr. Linooln's having tlie varioloid during the war. Commenting on the report, Uncle Abc said to Wade: " Some people said they could not 'take my proclamation very well, but when I get the small-pox, Wade, I shall then be happy to say t have something everybody can take."