Schneider's Tomatoes

Schneider is very fond of tomatoes. Schneider has a friend in the country who raises "garden sass and i-ich." Sohneider had an invitation to visit his friend last week, and regale hiuiself on his favorite vegetable. His friend Peiffer bciug busy negotiating with a city produce dealer, on his arrival, Schneider thought he would take a stroll in the garden and see some of his favoritos in their pristine beauty. We will let him teil the rest of the story in his own language : 'Veil, Ivalksshustaliddlevhile roundt, ven I see some off dose dermarters vat vas so red und nice as I nefer did pee any more und I dinks I vill put mineself outside bout a gouple-adozen, shust to gif me a liddle abbetite for dinner. So I pulls off von off the reddest und pestlooking off dose dermarters, and dakes a pooty goot bite out off dot, und vas chewing it up pooty qnick, vhen - by shiminy I- I dort I had a peese of red-hot goals in mine mout, or vas chewing up dwo or dhree bapers of needies; und I velt so pad, already, dot mine eyes vas vool off dears und I made vor an oldt oaken pucket dot I see hanging der veil in, as I vos goomin' along. "Shust dhen mine vriend Pfeiffer game up and ask me what made me veel so pad, und ef any off mine vamily vas dead. I toldt him I vas der only von off the yamily dot vas pooty sick; und den I ask him vot kind of dermartera dose vas vot I had shust peen bicking ; und, mine cracious, how dot landsman laughed, und said dose vas red beppers dot he vas raisin' vor bepper sass. ïou pet mine life I vas niadt. I radder you gif me fifdy tollars as to eat some more off dose bepper sass deroiarters." . _