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Another Straw

Another Straw image
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The elephant carne strolling into the tent just after the close of the aftcrnoon performance and tbe animáis were talking politics, having caught it from the chatter (hey had heard in the audience. They did not know a great deal about politics in the cages, but that you know, childrcn, is no bar to talking politics. Indeed, no. Some of our oongreramen, who hold on to office the longest, and talk the most aud the loudest, don't - but I digress. The elephant listened to the rest of the animáis for a little while, and then said to the giraffe : "Who is your candidate for president ?" " Blaine," said the giraffe. "Yes," said the elephant, "that's yon. Your ideas are always way up. You can't (jet your head out of the top of a pine tree. Just because Mr. Blaine was so quick to see where the giraffe came in, in Dr. Garcelon's menagerie, you tliink he will pay particular attention to you. You take care of' yourrelf, my aristocratie friend. Your head isu't as loog as your neck by 40 feet. You can'tcorpe the giraffe over Mr. Blaine. I say, Old Faithful, he continued.addressiiig the big dog in the "happy family," "who is your man ?" The Newfoundland eaide was for John Sherraan. " Yes," the elephant said,"because he's interested in the cur-renoy. If he is eleoted you will want the tariff put up on dogwood ust tlie same as l'oruvian bark. Well, go ahead : howl for a free ballot and an unmuzzled press, and don't whine if you are beat, as you usually do. Jean Naljean," he went on, turniug to the tiger, "who do you go for : "Any man that comes close to my oage," replied the amiable animal in the convict's suit. "Correct you are," said the elephant, "but you can countme outwhen you begin balloting. Who is the next animal to vote?" The Hyena said he was for Tilden first, last and all the time. " I'll bet you," eomwented the elephant, "anybody might know you would go for a dead man, you wretched apothesis of an Ohio medical student. Ah, you seventeenth ward resurrectionist, you' 11 run against a Circleville torpedo souie of these days that will knock that suiile of yours into a cocked hat. Any respectable citizen of the menagerie ready to express bis preferenco bef 'ore I close the polls?" The tortoise said bewas in favor of FitzJohn Portar. " Of' course you are," said the elephant "because he moved just about last enough to suit your gait. If he doesn't move forward any livelier for the presidency than he did for Gen. Pope he won't hear of the nomination until six weeks afler election. You'd make a good íunning mate for him in war time, and you ought to get along pretty well in politics. Thfi nest. zoological wonder and living curiosity will step lively ; can't keep the polls open all night; we've got to dressfor the evening performance yet." The turkey expresscd hiinself warmly in favor of David üavis. ' 'Kight you are, ' 'said the elephant. "And that's because hc keeps you company on the fence all the timo. Moreover, he luoks moro like me than any of the other candidates, and it is eminently proper and respectful in you to support him on that account. Any other voice from the plains and jungles?" The gopher shouted as lustily as he could for Mr. Seyraour. "Sure enqugh," said the elephant, "because he stays in his little hole all the time, just like yourself. Well, gopher him if you wish ; thU a free country, all except the menagerie, which costs you just 25 cents every time you look at it. Come, now, move more lively or you loose your vote; polls close in " The wild ass of the dooert hc,c ippea to the front nu roared his voice for Mr. De LaMatyr, of Indiana, amid the wildest enthusiasm and loud hootings throughout the tent. The elephant winked at the cages with a merry twinkle in his eye. " That's right my brave cactus eater," he said, "you are naturally and properly one of Mr. De La Matyr's followers. Brays him up to the skies if you want to. Nepotism is fashionable in this country now. Next voter." The monkey timidly said that if he was allowed to vote he would vote for - ' ' Proctor Knott ! " roa red the whole menagerie, but the elephant said sternly, "There, now, enough of that; intimidation at the polls. No one else. Oyez, oyez ! The polls are closed and the judges will now proceed to count the ballot." He then announced the result of the vote as follows : Grant, 54. " But," inquired the animáis, "how does that come?" " Well," said the elephant, "it comeH all the same, and don't you forget it. Don't I weigh more than all this menagerie put together? What do you animáis know about politics, anyhow?" And the animáis were well pleased to think they were allowed to vote, anyhow, and they were delighted that the election was over and their man elected, so they gave three cheers for Grant, and rolled around in the straw to dress for the ing 8 perlormance.