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A Domestic Episode

A Domestic Episode image
Parent Issue
Public Domain
OCR Text

"My dcar," said Mr. Skoopendyke, f'eeling up the chimney, "hrvo you seen my gold collar button?" "I saw it the day you bought it," answered Mrs. Skoopendyko, chenrily, "and I though it very pretty. Why do you ask?" " 'Cause I've lost the measly thing," responded Mr. Skoopendyke, running the broom handle up into the cornice and shaking it as iF it were a carpet. " You don't suppose it is up tliere, do you?" asked Mrs. Skoopendyke. " Where did you leave it?" "Leftit in my shirt. Whcre do you auppose I'd leave it - in the hash?" and Mr. Skoopendyke tossed over the things in his wife's writing desk and lookcd out of the window after it. "Where did you leave your shirt?" asked Mrs. Skoopendyke. " Where did I leave iny shirt? Wbere do you suppooe I left it? Where does a man generally leave his shirt, Mrs Skoopendyke? Think I left it in the ferryboat? (Jot an idea I left it at prayer meeting, haven't you? Wcll, I didn't. I left t off, Mrs. Skoopendyko, that's where I left it. I leftit off. Hearmd?" And Mr. Skoopendyke pulled the winter clothing out of the eedar chest that hadn't been unlocked for a month. "Where is the shirt now? persisted Mrs. Skoopendyke. "Where do you suppose It is? Whorc do you imagine it is? t'll tH you where it is, Mrs. Skoopendyke, it's goae to Bridgeport as a witness in a land suit. Ideal Ask a man where hin shirt is ! You know I haven't been out of the room since I came home last night and took it off; " and Mr. Skoopendyke sailed down siairs and raked the fire out of the kitchen range, but didn't find the button. "Maybeyou lost it on the way home," suggested Mrs. Skoopendyke, as her husband came up, hot and angry, and began to pull a stuffed canary to pieces, to see if the button had got inside. "Oh, yes! Very likely! I stond ttp against a tree and lost it. Then I hid behind a ience so I wouldn't see it. Tnat's the way it was. If I only had your head, Mrs. skoopendyke, I'd turn looso as a razor strop. I don't know anything sharper than you are ; " and Mr. Skoopendyke got up in a chair and clutched a handfull of dust off the (op of the wardrobe. "It must have fallen out," mused Mrs. Skoopendyke. "Oh ! it must, eh ! It must have fallen out ! Well, I declare, 1 nover thought of that. My impression was tbat it took a buggy and drove out, or a baloon had hoisted it out," and Mr. Skoopendyke crawled behind the bureau and commenced tearing up the carpet. "Andifit feil out, it uiu.-.t bo soraewhero near whcre he left his shirt. Now he always throws his shirt on the lounge and the button is under that." A moment' s scarch established the infallibility of Mrs. ├ľkoopendyko's logic. "Oh, yes! Found it, didu't you?" panted Mr. Skoopendyke, as he bumped his head against the bureau and finally climbed to a perpendicular. " I'erhaps you'll fix my shirts so that it won't ('all out any more, and maybe you'll have sense cnough to mend that loungo, now it has made po much troublo. If you only tend (o the house as I do to my business, there'd never be any difficulty ubout losing a collar button." " It wasn't my fault- " began Mrs. Skoopendyke. "W.Wt, oh! Have you found that coal bill you'vo been lookiug lor sincc March?" "Yos." " Have, eh ! Now where did you put it? Where did you find it?"