Fool Friends

Colonel Kübert G. Ingorsoll, in the National Illustrated Weckly, gives i graphic pen-picture of political "fooi frieuas," which is good cnough to reproduce. Almost every toadcr will disoover in it soiue lineaments of party friends he has known : Nothing hurt.s a man, nothing hurta a party, so ternbly as fooi friends. A loul friend is the sowtr of bad news, of slandcr aud all base and unpleasant thines. A fooi friend always knows every mean thing that has beca aid against you and against the party. He always knows where your party is losing, and the other is making large gains. He always tells you of the good luck of your enemy. He implicitly believes every story against you, an kindlv BiiêprAT yn dofonoo. A fijol friend is always full of a kind of stupid candor. Ho is so cundid that he always bclioves tbo statements of au eneuiy. He never suspects anythingon yourside. Nothing picase hiiu like bcing shocked by horrible news concerning sonic good Ban, He never dcuies a lie unlcss it is in your favor. Ho is always ünding fault with bis party, and is coutinually bogging pardon for not belonging to the other. He i.s frightfully anxious that all his can didates should stand wcll with the opposition. Jlcis forever seeing the faults of his party and tho virtues of the other. He generally shows his candor by f-cratching his ticket. He always --carches every nook and corner of his consoieiice to liml a reason for deserting a. friend or piinciple. In a moment of victory he is magnanimously on-your side. ín defeat he consoles you by repeating prophecies tnade after the event. The fooi friend regards your reputation as private property, and aseommon prey for all vultures, hyenas and jackalls. He takes pleasurc in your misfortunes. He forgets his principios to gratify your enemies. He forgives your malianer and slandertr with all his heart. He is ao friendly that you oannot kick hhu. He gcnerally tatks for you, hut alwuys beta the other way.