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A Slice Of Limburger

A Slice Of Limburger image
Parent Issue
Day
3
Month
September
Year
1880
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

t rooaoiy tne rueanest tnck that was ever played on a white man was played last week in this city, and the faot that there ia no vigilant eoiumittee here is the reason the porpetrators of the triok are still alive. A businoss man had purchased a dow stitf hat, aud he went into a saloon willi half a dozen friends to fit the hat on bis head. They all took beer and passed the hat around so all could see it. One of the nieanest men that ever held a county office went to the bartonder and had a thin slice of Limburger chcese cut off, and when the party was looking at tlio frescoed oeiling throueh the beer glasses the wicked perion slipped the cheese under the sweatleather of the hat, and the man put it on and walked out. The man who owned the liat is one of our nervous pcople whu ie alwaya complaining of being sick, and who fcels as though some dreadful diseunc was going to take possession of hiui and carry him off. He went back to his plaoo o: business, took off his hat and lay it on tho table. and proceeded to anawer eome letters. He thought he DETECTED A SMELI,, And when his partner a?kcd him if he didn't feel sick, he said he believed he. did. A clerk ,-mid it was evident that somebody's feet neoded washing. The man turned pale, and said ho guessed he wquld go hotuo. IIu met a man on the sidewalk who said the air was full of miasma, anc in the stroct car a man who sat next to hiit moved away to the end of thu car, and asked him if he had just come from Chiuatro. The man with the hat said he hac not, whon the stranger said they were having a great doal of .small-pox thore, and he iruossed he would get out and walk, and he pulled the bell and juinpod off. The oold perapiration broke out on tho forchead of the man with the new hat, and he took it off to wipo his forehoad, when the whole nieco of cheeso Beemod to turn over and breathe, and the man got the full benefit of it, aud he caine near fainting away. He got home, and lii.-i wife met and asked him what was the matter. He said he believed mortifioation had set in, and she took one whiff, and said that she should think it had. "WHERE DID rOU GET INTO IT 't" Said she. " Get into it?" said the man. " I have not got into anything, but aome deadly diseasc has got hold of me, and I shall not live." She told him that if any disease that smolled like that had got hold of him, and was to be ohronic, sho feit as though ho would be a burdon to himself it he lived long. She got his olothos off, soakod his feet in mustard water, and he slept. The hat was lying on the centertable, and the children would como in and get a smell of it and look at oach other with roproachful glaucos, and go out to play. Tho man slept and dreained that a small-pox fiag was hung'in front of his house, and that he was riding in a buteher wagon to the pest house. The woman sent for a doctor, and when tho man of pills arrived she told him all about the case. The doctor picked up the patient's new hat, tried it on, and got a sniff. Ho said tbc hat was riOKEÜ BEFORE IT WAS RII'E. The doctor and the wife held a mortem examination of the hat, and found the slice of Limburger. ' ' Fow and short were tho prayers they said." They woko the patiënt, and to prepare his mind for the revelation that was going to be made, the doctor askúd him if his worldly affairs were arrangcd in a satisfactory condition. He gasped and said they were. The doctor asked biin if he had made his will. He said that he had not, but he wanted a lawyer sent for at once. Tho doctor asked him if he feit as though ho was prepared to shuffle off. Tho man said he had always tried to lead a difforcnt life, and had tried to be done by tho same as he would do to himself, but that he niight have made a mistake some way, and tlmt ho would like to have a ministor sent for to take an account of stock. The doctor brought t the bedside the hat, OPENXD Ul TUE SWEAT LEATUEll And showed the dying man what it was tbat smelled so, and told him he was as well as any man in the city. The patiënt pinohed himsolf to seo if he was alive, and jumped out of bed and called for his revolver, and the doctor couldn't keep up with him on the way down town. The last we saw of the odoriferous citizen he was trying to bribe tho bartender to teil him whieh ono of those pelicans it was that put that slico of cheose in his hat lining.

Article

Subjects
Ann Arbor Courier
Old News