Know My Boy Bill?

As the overland express was snorting tbrouíjh Alameda yesterday, od its way to .New York, tlie cnginecr suddenly wbistJed down brakes, the conductor t'rantically shoutod and jerked the signal line, and with aiany a jar and squeak the long line of cars was brought to a stop. The causo oi this "sudden iotch up " was a fat old lady witb a red face and a green parasol, who had planted hersall' squarely in front of the engine, and was makiug the most frantic signul for it to pause. " What's the matter? Anything on the track? " said the engiueer, excitedly. "Nothingbut me," said the old lady, utiffly. " Has there been a smash up ? Is there - there a drawbridge open ?" "Don't poke fuu at me, young man. I want to sec the proprietor." "The what?" "The man who runs this thing - the captain - or whatever you cali him." "What do you want with the conductor?" "None of your buaLoeM, 1 want to see the head man - the boss - and to onct." "Well, ma'am," said that functionary, running up, watch in hand, "what's up? What'oan 1 du lor you?" "You go through Chicago, don't you ?" "Why, ofcüurse. What of it?" " Know my son Bill - Bill Skioderaon - tl ere?" 'Xo. For Heavan's akigetoffthe track, you old - "Don't sass me, you icdnosed gorilla, or l'll inforin on, you. Deary me, 1 thought everybody knew my boy Bill - prominent man there - runs the biggest fruit -Utul in town, and- hands off, yuu rascal. Dou't dare to tech me. l'll move whon I'm good and ready." "Well, hurry up. What do you want?" "Oh ! I thouglit you'd change yor tune. Well, 1 wih you'd just stop over a day or two at Chicago and look up Bill and teil him that little .Mariah Jano's .anders have kinder wurki'd round iuto fits and tli more hopes. She's sorter - " "titurt hei up, Jimmy !" yelled tho furious conductor ; and il' the old lady hadn't hudtled up her kiits and humped herself, he woull have had afirst-classcase of dam - ages against the oompaoy, After that &he stood apoplectio with rage, shaking hor parasol at tha disappeariog train, annouocng her determiiriation togo right and over "and j-cü Oovernor Standard ÜM very