His Pa Gets Mad

"I was down to tho drug store tliis morning, and saw 3'our ma buying a lot of oourt piaster, cnongh to mako a sliirt I should think. Wliat's shc doing with so mach oourt piastor," asked the grooery man of the bad boy, as ho carne iu and pulled offliis boota by the slovo and omptied out a lot of suow, tliat hád oollected as Iig walked through a drift, outho henrtli, which nielted and made a bad smoll. "O, I guess sho is going to patch pa up so he wil] hold water. Pa's temper got him into tho worst nmss you ever sec, last night. If that ïuuseum was hcre now thoy would hire pa and exhibit him as the tattoed man. I teil you, I have got too oíd to be maulud as though I was a kid, aud any man who attaoks mo from this out. wants to have bis peaee made with the insurance companie.s, and know that his calling and election is sure, bocause I am 1 bad man, and don't you forget i(." And tho boy pulled on his boots and lookod so cross and desperate that tho groccry man asked him if ho wouldn't try alittle now eider. "Good heavens," said tho groeory man, as the boy swallowed the oiiler, andhisfaeo resumed its natural look, and tho piratical frown disappeared with the oidor. "You havo not stabbed your fathei", havo you. I havo feared that olio thing would bring on another, with you, anrl that you would bo hung," "Naw, I haven' t stabbed him. It was anotlior cat tha; stabbed him. Yon seo, pa wants mo to do all the work around the house. Tho other day he bought a, load of kindling wood, and told me to carry it into the basement. I have not been educated up to kindling wood, and I didn't do it. Whcn supper time oame, and pa found I had not carricd in tho kindling wood, hc had a lii 1 1 1 1 ¦ Hl-B 1 hot box, and he tokl me if that wood was not in whon he came back f rom the loilge, that he woultl warm my jacket. Well, I tried to hiro some ono to carry it in, and got a man to promise to come in the morning and carry it in and take hia pay in groceries, and I was going to buy the groeeries here and liave thcni charged to pa. Uut that wouldn't help me out that niglit. I knew when pa came home ho would search for me. So I slept in the back hall on a cot. But I didn't want pato have all his trouble for nothing, so I borrowed an old torn cat that my chum's old maid aunt owns, and put the cat in my bed. I thought if pa came in my room after me, and found that by his unkindness that I had changed to a torn eat, he would be sorry. That is the biggest cat you ever see, and the worst iighter in our ward. It isn't af raid of anything, and can whip a New Foumlland dog quicker tlian you could put sand in a barrel of sugar. Well, about eleven o' clock I heardpa tumble over the kindling wood, and I knew by the remark he made, as the wood slid around undcr him, that there was going to be a cat fight real quiek. He come up to mas room, and sonnded ma as to whethor Hennery had retired to his virtuous coach. Pa is awful sarcastic when ie tries to be. 1 could hear him take oft' his clothes, and Iicar him say, as he picked up a trunk strap, 'I guess I will go up to his room and watch the smile on his facp, as he dreams of angels. 1 yearn to presa him to my ach ing bosom.' I thought to myself, mebbe you won 't yearn so much direetly. He come up slairs, and I could hear him breathing hard. I looked out around the corner and could see he just had on his shirt and pants, aud his suspenders were hanging down, and his bald liead shone like a calcium light just beforo it explodes. Pa went in my, room, and up U the bed, and I could hear him say, Come out here aud in that kindling wood, or I will start a lire on your base bomer with this strap.' Andthen t here was a yovrling sueli as 1 never heard befare, and pa said, 'Helen Blazes,' and the furnituro in my room began lo l'all aronnd aud break. O. my! 1 think pa took the torn cat right by the neck, the way he does iup, aud that left all the cat's feet free to get in tlieir work. Ky the way the cat squawled as though it was being choked, I know pa had him by the neck. 1 supposo the cat thought pa was a whole ock of New Foundland dogs, and the cat had a record on dogs. and it kicked awful. Pa's shirt was no protection at all in a cat fight, and the cat just walked all around pa's stomach, attd pa velled i i i 1 ut ft I % . ] L A? 1 "1 , . . ¦ f"""i íiini mu, aun mm on ihe lióse,' and he called mu, aml tlie cat yowled. If pa liad liad pregenco ofmind enough toeayedroppetífcheeat.orrolled it up in tho mattrass, it would liavo buen all right, bul a man alw&ys gets ratüed in tomo of danger, and he held onto the cat and started down stairs yelling niurder, and he met ma ooinng up. I gruesa ma's night-cap, or something, ínghteijcd the cat gome moro, cause he stabbed ma on tho night-shirt with one hind foot, aud ma said 'mcrcy on ua, and sho went back, and pa stvimblcd on a handslcd that was on the stairs, and they all feil down, and tho cat got away and went down in the coal bin and yowled all night. Pa and ma went iuto thoir room, and I gueeg they anointcd themselves with vaseline, and Pond'a oxtract, and I went and got into my bed. cause it was cold out in the hall, and the cat had warmedmybed as irun i ii iiuu armcu pa. it was all 1 couhl do to go to sleep, with pa and ma talkinor all night, and this I eame down the back stairs, and haven't been to breakfast, canse I don't want to see pa when ho is vexed. Yon let tho man that earries n the kindling, wood havo six shillings worth of gr'oceries, and charge lliem to pa. I have passcd' tho kindlmg wood period in a boy 's life, and havo arrived at the coal period. I will curry in coal, but I draw the lino at khulling wood." "Well, vou aro a cruel, bad boy," suid the grocery man, as he went to the book and charged the six shillings. "O, I don't know. I think país cruel. A man who will take a poor kitty by tho neck, that hasn't done any harm, md tries to chastise the poor thingwith a trunk strap, ought to be looked after by the humane society. And if it is cruel to tako a cat by tho neck, how much moro cruel ig it to take a boy by the neck, that had diphthoria only a few years ago, and whoso throat is tonder. Say, I guessl will acceptyour in'vitation o tako breakfast with you," and the boy Jut oñ a piece of bologna and helpod nmself to the orackers, and whilo the jrocery man was out shoveling oft' the snow from tho sidoüvalk, tlio boy filled liis pockets with raisins and loaf sngar, and then went out to watcli tho man oarry in bis kindling wood.