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A young politlcian explained the tattered foiidition ot' his trousers to his fitther by stating that lie was sitting under an apple tri-e enjnylng hinisHI, whon the farmer'.s dog carne aloii and contestad lii.s sent. tS Hoods, scarfs, ribbons, aml auy fancy articles can beniadeanyeolor wanted witb the Diamond Dyes. All tbe popular colora. History ( we do not know wliose, tbougb) - " George! Prythee tell me what Ís tlie sapouaceous compound composed of?" " Martha, I do not know; I cminot tell a lye."- Boston Star. A Run on a Drug Store. Never was such a rush nmde for anv drug store as is now at H. J. Brown & Co.'s for a trial bottle of Dv. King's New Discovery for Consumption, Coughs and Colds. All persons Rltented with Asthina, Bronchitis, Hoarseness, Severe Coughs or any affection of the Throat and Lungs, can get a trial Bottle of this great remedy free, by calling at the above drují store. Regular size $1,00. Study of Orcek; Mr. Fronde, In the course of a recent lecture, stated that Cato did not begin to learn the Greek language until he was 84 years of age. The boys of to-day tell their fathers that they are anxious to follow the exainple of Cato. - Somerville JournaL When a cold or other cause checks tlic operation of the secretive organs, their natural healthy action shoiild be restored by the use of Ayer's Pilis, and inflamuiatory material thereby removed from the sjsteiu. Much serious sicknessand suffering might be prevented by thus promptly correcting those slight derangements tüat, otherwise often develop into settled dsease. A standing offer- The bid at an outdoor auction. How to escape being shipwrecked - O shun the ocean. A young queue-pid - The Chinese babjr. "A time for awl things," as the cobbler said on comniencing work for the day. A fast gait- The gate that is bolted. When is the house furnace like the victim of the drop game? - W hen itis well shaken down. - Boston Traveller. Skiniiy Hen. "Wells' Health Eenewer" restores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia, Impotence, Sexual Debility. f 1, A Berks county (Pa.) young woman threw a pair of scissorsat a man who was teasing her. As one of the points penetrated his eye he couldn't see the joke, although she claimed it was sheer nonsense. - New York Commercial Advertiser. - A specitic, and the only one too for all forms and types of skin disease, is known the world overas Dr. Benson'sSkin Cure. Ií is not a patent medicine, but a reliable, certain remedy. Druggists. There was a fatal row in a Xew York drinking saloon. The proprietor was scared, reformed and turned undertaker. He was bound to have sometliing to do wilh spirits. - Progress. Ifchiiiíí Piles- Symptoins and Cure. The symptoms are inoisture like pers piration, intenso ítchinjr, increased ly scratching, very distressiug, particularly at night, seerns as if pin-worms were crawling in and about the rectum; the private parts are sometimes affected. If allowed to continue serious results may follow. "Swayne's Ointmentf' is a pleasant, sure cure. Also for tetter, itch. salt rkeutn, scald head, erysipelas, barbers' itch, blotches, all scaly, crusty skin diseases. Sent by mail for 50 cents; 3 boxes for $1.25, (in staraps). Address, Dr. Swayne & Sou, PhiUdelphia, Pa. Sold bj' Druggists. Spenking of a commercial traveler who was arrested for embezzlement, an exchange says : " He confesses hls guilt.1' A drummer niay own up to gilt, but to brass - never. - Boston Transcript. Rheumatlsm Positively Cared in the shortest time. Write for f ree 40Hsc pampniet on Kheumatism, to K K. Helphenstine, Druggist, Washington, D. C. " Yes," said the man in the theater gallery, ' the tnake-ups were generally fair, but there was one make up tliat I should like to see- a make-up for lost time between the acts."- Boston Transcript. Bncklen's Árnica Salve. The best Salve in the world for Cuts Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rlieum, Fever Sores, Tetter, Chapped Hands, Chilblains Corns, and all Skin Eruptions. and positively cures piles. It is guaranteed to give pertect satisfactiwn or money refunded Price 25 cents per box. For sale by überbach & Son. 1106-1159. The remains of a man have been du out of the ruins of Pompeii, with both hands rosting on his stomacn. The buildinir in wlnch he was found is supposed to have been a cheap restaurant.- Boston Post $100 Reward Is offered for any case of Catarrh that cant be cured with Hali's Catarrh Cure Taken bacT& 'só'n PriCe 75 8ld y Eer Some of our exchanges are diecussing an alleged "snow flea." They can't imagine liow the snow flea is made; but a warm rain will make the snow flee about as quick as anything- Norriatown Herald. Ayer's Sarsaparilla, the first blood medicine to prove a real success, still holds its place as tirst in public estimatiou, both at home and abroad, as shown by ts ïnlraculous cures, and immensely increased sales. A Frenchlady, durine the siege of Paris was dnven by famine to eat hLr pet dog as she was finishing, exclaimed : " Poor" thlwouoyed picki„g "Buchupaiba." Quick complete cures all annoying Dyr'u?K a'lU Uri"ary ülSeifses Eight-years-old-boy.- " pa WW ';„ „ polilical prohibitionist?" Dotngbutprac Ua lfather.-.'A political prohfbitionist, UnntISt"e ? the 8overeign8 of the in ri e8 wh10.s')edf' mostof his time in tear njr down lus own and his can neijthbor's fences, in ordei that ' cratic stock may have free rango." Well Rewarded. A liberal reward will be paid to anv Pirty who will produce a case óf Uve? Kidneyorstomach complaint that Electric" ' B'ingthem ' icine it n fails to cure, and you wii ip w?''rVr??d foryur trouble bside I All Bood diseases, Billiousness, Jaundice' Const.pauon, and general dbilitv ar quickly cred. Satisfaction guara leedor money refunded. Pnce only fiftv cl nh f per bottle. For sale by II. ï fiTown"! C It was a cold day for that iudge who hreatened to line a party $10 for co.71ng in cour , when the disturbin element infonned hli honor that he wou ld bVwUU - ing to pay twice that sum to have it stop"Rough on Bats." Í! an?,leiirh ?f ratS' mCe' ro"Clies, flies, M ants, bed-bugs, skunks, chipmuuks ' gophers. 15c. ürugifists. '-"'P'nunis, M The Arab horse is not broken unti! his J' fourthyear. That's where they differ fróm dt :eacup. But then the Arab horsesarè dt JOt washed by tliB average kitchen g'rl S a öardT= '" 'l-o all who re sufferlng frOm ihe error ind Indln? retlouB of youth, nervoue weakness, carlT decav tat s of mauhood, 4c, I will .end a receipe thatwUl' a! nr.joo.FHKK OF CHAROS. Thl8 oat remedy tt! fa dijcovered by a miesionary 1d South America ed' end a 8elf-ddresí,ed envelope to the Kev. Joseph' Sr' Inman, Station D, Now York City. lMy Sm OMHïk A MCMACKIN,Cindim.t"o. AIJENTS WAflTED COf 1089-1140 v