Mr. Spoopendyke's Search

Brooklyn Eagle. 'Olí, dear!" grunted Mrs. Spoopendyke, "i'm sun; I'm going to die!" and the good wonian flopped over in the bed and contemplated her husband witli a palé face and a look of general debility "You will be good to the baby, won't you dear?" "Oh, ho!" retnrned Mr. Spookendyke, pounding hei' tenderly on the head with bis big hand "You're all right. Bear up against it, and you'll be well in an hour or tvvo. I've often had the cholera morbus, but you never see me give np like this. Where's the. ginger?" "I don't know," moaned Mrs. Spoopendyke. "Look on the top shelf of the closet. If it isn't there try the bottom drawer of the wardrobe; or it May be in the pantry. Ow-vv!" and Mrs. Spoopendyke doubled up and straightened out with a jerk. "You can't remember any ether congressional districts represented by that ginger can you?" growled Mr. Spoopendyke, prowling around tho room in an aimless but energetic fashion. "You don't cali to mind a couple more roosting places in which that ginger is to be found, do you? Where bouts on the top shelf" and Mr. Spoopendyke rattled around among the old bottles and empty pill-boxes. ' Look here! I've found that court piaster I wanted da) before ycsterda) !" and mort; thau gratitied with his find Mr. Spoopendyke utterly forgot the original object of his learch. "You'll send baby to a good school, and see that she marries happily, dear?" groaned Mrs. Spoopendjke, adapting a woman's style of hinting "that the ginger would be acceptable. "And you'll bury me by mother?" "Certainly," replied Mr. Spoopendyke, immersed in the contemplation of the court piaster. "Where's the sheet of flesh color that was here?" he demanded. "I don't seera todetectthe presence of that particular element of adhesiveness! Where's the flesh coiored portion of this curative?" and Mr. Spoopendyke ran over the little squares again in a vain seareh for the piece he missed. ' 'Did you k)ok in the wardrobe, love?' ' asked Mrs. Spoopendyke faintly. "It isn't bere!" growled Mr. Spoopendyke, raking over the contents of the drawer and turning them over with his foot. "What?- Upon niy word! you're a pretty woman! I thought you said that old razor strap of mine was lost whCB we moved. Here it is as big as life and twice as dirty. Glad I found that strap, mumbled Mr. Spoopendyke, rubbing it tenderly and blowing off the dust. "Got a piece of cloth?" "Oh, do look in the pantry!" pleadod Mrs. Spoopendyke. "i'm sure it's in, the pantry!" Mr. Spoopendyke charged on the pantry like a column of horse and i lied around and butuped his head, but didn't seeni to meet with much success. "I don't sec any," he muttered. 'Don't you know wliere you keep your cloth! I spose I might stand around here till doorusday, while tho moths corrode and thieves do break into this razor strap and steal the whole business, without finding a peice of cloth to wipe it on. Haven' t ye got an old skirt orsomething?" AndMr. Spoopendyke drew the strop under his arm two or three times and regarded it affectionately. 'Oh, please flnd tho ginger!" squealed Mrs Spoopendyke, asanother spasm caught her. "Ñever mind your old strap! Find the ginger!" "Ain't I looking for it?" retortedMr. Spoopendyke. "Here's a cork, and the bottlê can't bo far off. When 1 fine' that bottle I'll have a clue to the ginder, and I'm going to follow it to the bitter end. You ought to save Ihese corks anyway when Vso fishing. What kind of a looking bottle was itr' "It was long and narrow," replied Mrs. Spoopendyke; almost in despair. "I ought to tine it from that duscription," "muttered Mr. Spoopendyke. "Most bottles are perfetly round. Here's the árnica bottle upside down, and I told you to keep it filled. 1 might knock my elbow into the next Presbyterian General Assembly, and I'd have to wait all dav before Icouldget a drop :f árnica to soothe my anguish! What's this straw hat of miue doing in the bottle box. anyhow? What particular malad} did this hat have that suggested such adispositionofit?"andMr. Spoopendyke smoothed out the crown and squinted with one eye while he straigtened the brini. "That's a good hat yet," and he put it on and regarded biruself inthe glass. You wanted some ginger, didu't you! Where is it. Where do you put it?" Mrs. Spoopendyke arose from the bed, pale but firra, and stalking acros the room seized the bottle and üounced back into bed with a bump that showed she was mad. There is nothing on earth that will so expresa a woman's wrath as that one diveamong the sheets. "Getting better, ain't ye?" snorted Mr. Spoopendyke. "I told ye the cholera morbus didn't last long. Where's that razor strap? What'd ye do with that strap?" Mrs Spoopendyko eyed hinj, but made no response. "Point out to me the present address of that strap!" howled Mr. Spoopendyke. "Take this finger and lay it tendeily on the home and country of that strap!" and Mr. Spoopendyke whirled around like a qjrind.stone and filled the au with bottles and boxes, and powders and pills. ' Come out of the jungle and face me!" jelled Mr. Spoopendyke apostrophizin the strap which he remembered having in nis hand but a moment befare, i how me to the strap ! Take that strap by the ear aad lead it before Spoopenuyke in proper person!" and the enraged gentlemen thrust his foot through the crown of kis hat and drew the tvreck up to his hip. "What's that f ticking out of your vest pocket?" asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, scraping off external applications of an assortment of drugs. "Umpli!" grunted Mr. Spoopendyke, drawing out the strap. Foundit, didn't ye. Another time you let things alone, will ye? Made me spoil my hat with your nomense! Another time you want anythingyou just stand back and let me search! Y' understand?" "Yes, dear," murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke, and as her husband left the room she took a consoling swig at the ginger bottle and reflected that he hadn't enjoyed the attack of cholera morbus much more than she had.