Butler, N. Y., March 10, 1882. Rhmmalic Syrup Co.: Gents- I take tliis opportunity to express my gratitude lor wliat your RbeUmatic Syrup has done tor me After suffering over one year wlth the rheumatism in my shoulders, so I could hardly getmy coat on without help, a friend induced me to try a bottle of Rheuuiatic Syrup. After taking it I could see such a iiecided change, that I contiimed its use a short time and it cured me. Daniel Koe. " Well, wlfe, you can't say I ever contracted bftd habits?"' "No, sir; you generally expand tliem." " Tour Skin Cure is superexcellent, It is fas euring my daughtefs ring worm, which had spread all over ter body." Airs. E. L. D. Merrlam, Blue Hill, Mass. Druggists keep it, $1 per paokoge. Some one who believes that " brevity is the soul of wit" writes, " Don 't :it Q cuinbers. Tliey'll W up." Ayer's Agüe Cure acts directly on the liverand biliary apparatus, and drives out the malaria] poison wliich induces liver coniplaints and bilious disorders. Warranted to cure, or money refunded. An editor offers n revvard of $5 for the best treatise on " IIovv to make out door lite attraetive to the mosquito." By taking Ayer's Sanaparilla many a poor sufferer who submits to thesurgeon's knife because of innlignant sores and scrofulous swellingp, might be saved, sound and whole. Tliis will purge out the corruptions which pollute the blood, and by whicb such coniplaints are orlglnated and fed. An illustration of stinginess is cited by a writer, who knows a man who talks through his nose in order to saye the wear and tear of his false teetli. Don't l.'ic in the House. " Rmigh on Rats." Clears out rats, mice, oachcs, bed-bugi, flies, ants, moles, chir.nonks, go])hers. 15c. It is said that there are two eventful pciods in the liie of a woman: One wlien he (fondera whom she will have, and the otlier is when she wonders who will have her. Cares of Life. As we come to tbetn they are received. borne with, md passed over w.ith uo more tlmn a tliought, if we are in the enjoyment of bealtb, but if sufferins witli Piles or skin disease of any kind they magnify a hundied fold. Eberbach ifc Son the Druggists, liave Dr. Bosanko's Pile Remedy which is an absolute cure for any afïection of tliis kind and is sold at 50 cents. Frontier fo'ks seldom say that aman has ' crossetl tho Styx." They merely reraitrk that he has " hopped the twig." Thonsanda are being cured of Catarrh every year wlth Halls' Catarrh Cure, that the doctors had siven up and said could not be cnred. 75 cents a bottle. Sold by Eberbach & Son. 'Wh.it is pride, my sou?" said a gpntlenian to bis little son. " VValking with a cañe when you ain't lame," he said. Skiiiny Men. '¦Wells' Health Kenewer" restores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia, linpotence, Sexual Debility. $1. "Look heah, Thomas Jeft'erson, dis heah's a nico time fo' you to be gettln' home,"' gro wied Au n t Polly, as her boy carne in long after midnlffht. " Oh, g'long!"retorted Thomas, "you dunno nollin. Habn't }'ou neber heard dat de daikey's hour am jes' befo' day ? " Wells' "Rough on Corns." Ask for Wells' "Rough on Corns." 15c. Quick, complete, permanent cure. Corns' warts, bunions. A Barrie man climbed into his kitchen window the otlier night, after kicking at the front door for an hour, and found on the parlor table the following note from hiswife: "I liave gone out. You will flnd the kcy ander the door-mat.'' Cause of Fallure. - Want of confidence accounts for half of the business failures of to-day. Eberbach & Son the Dniggists, are not liableto fail for the want of confidence in Dr. Bosanko's Cough and Lung Syrup, for he gives away a bottle fice to all who are suffering with Couglis, Colds, Asthma, Consumption and all aflections of the Throat and Lunss. Scotch pólice office. Presiding bailie to : " You are fined live shillings. I wonder to see a respectable man llke you here." Drunk and incapable: " 'Deed, an' if I was respectable, its nae in your eompany that ld be!" Bailie : Wh-a-t?" Calarrh of the Bladder. Stinging irritation, Inflamation, all Kidney and Urinaiy ComplalntS, cured bv "Buchu-palba." fi. A thiee-legged calf was recently boni in lowa. As a kicker the animal will prove a fallare, but as a side show eunosity itwill be a great success. Nature ahyays provides a way for the unfortunate chikireu to niake an honest living. Flies and Bugs. Flies, roaches, ants, bed-bugs, rats,niice, gophers, chipmunks, cleared out by " Kough on Rats." 15c. A certain editor was taking a walk one ereuing with his wife, wheu she, being romantic and an adinirer of nature, said : "Oh! Augustus, just notice the moon." "Can't think of it, my dear, for less than thirty cents a line." "Molher Swan's Worm Sjrrup." Iufalliblc, tasteless, harmless, cathartic, for feverishness, restlessnesa, wornis, conatlpatlon. 25c. Leader of orchestia to yoting Irishman, who wants to join- " Do you play by enr ornóte?" " Nayther, be jabers. I play wid me hands."- Barllogton Free Pres?. Dflnghtcrs, Wives, and Hothers. Ve emphatically guarantce Dr. Marchisi's Catholloon a Feniale Remedy, to cure Feniale Diseases.such as Ovarinn troubles, Iuflammation and ulceration, Falline and Displacements or bearing down feeling, Irregularities, Barren nen, Onangeof Life, Leuconho3a, besidts many weaknesses springing fiom the above, like Headache, Bloating, Spinal weakness, Sleeplessness, Ncrvous debility, Palpitation of the lieart, etc. No cure, No Pay. For sale bydruggists. Prices $1.00 and $1,50 per Bottle. Send to Dr. J. B. MsrchUi, Utica, N. Y., for pamphlet, free. For sale by Eberbach & Son, Druggists.