The Bad Boy And His Chum Have A Boxing Match

'Say, mister," said the bad boy to the grocery man, as he carne in burying his face in a California pear, "it is mighty kind of you to givo away such nieo pear3 as tbig. Idon'tseehow you can afford it. I have seen more than twenty people stop and read your sign out there, tako a pear and go off chewingit." "What's that," said tho grocery man turning pale and starting for tho door, where he found a woodsawyer taking a pear. "Get away from there," and ho drove the woodsavvyer away and came in with a sign in his hand, on which was printed. "Take one." "I painted that sign and put it on a pilo of chromos of a new clothes-wringer, for the people to take one, and, by gum, the wind has blowed that sign over on to the basket ofpears, andl suppose every darn fooi that has passed this morning has taken a pair, and there goes the prolits of the whole day's business. Say, you didn't change that sign, did you? ' and the groceryman looked at the bad boy with a glauco that was full of lurking suspicion. "No, sir-ree," said tho boy as he wiped the pear juico off his face on a pieice of tea paper, "I have quit all kinds of foolishness, and wouldn't play a joke on a graven image. But I went to the Sullivan boxing match all the same though," and the boy put up his hinds like a prize iighter and backed the grocery man up against a molasses barrel, and made hini keg, "O, say," said the grocery man, confidentialïy, "there is a rumor that our minister is a rcformed prize fighter.and an old maid that was in here yesterday says he has been fighting with your pa. Do vou know anythiüg about it?" "Know anything about Ur 1 know ali about it. It was rae that brough' about the meeting between them," and the boy dodged away from an imaginary opponent in a prize ring, and tipped over a barrel of ax helves. "You sec, me and my obum have a set of boxing gloves, and we go down in the laundry in tne basement and bcx with each othor, evenings. Since I got the Irisb boy to box with Da, last slimmer, and he pasted pa in the noso, pa has not visited the laundry to see us box, but last night the minister ealled to talk with pa about raising rnoney to pay the churcb debt. and they heard us down stairs warming each other with tho gloves, and the minister asked 'pa .vhat it was, and pa said the boys were having a little innocent amusement with boxing gloves, and he asked the minister if he thought thero was any harm in it, and the minister said ho didn't think there wac He said when he was in college the students used to box in the gymnasium, every day, and he enjoved it very much. and got so ho dian't take a back seat for any of them. He said the only student that ever got the best of him in boxing was one who is now proaching in Chicago, and he was the hardest hitter in the college. Pa asked the minister if he wouldn't like to go down cellar and see the boys box. and he said hc didn't mind, and so thoy camo down where we were. I feit really ashamed when tho minister came down, and was to apologizo, but the minister saia he consiaeixd boxing the healthiest exeroise there was, and if our people would practico more with boxing-gloves and dumb-bells, there would be loss liver complaint, and less need of summer vacations. Me and my chum boxed a couple of rounds, and the minister told us we made several mistakes, and then pa got excited and wanted the minister to put on the gloves with bim, but he said he was out of practico, and he did not know but it would cause talk in tho church if it should get out that ho had been boxing with one of the members, but pa told him nobody would ever know it, and it would do them bolh good, and so the minister took off nis coat, let his suspenders hang down, rolled up his sleeves, and they put on the gloves. I teil yon it was fun for us boys, and I enjoyed it better than a circus. Pa is a urettv hard hitror. but he liasn t gol tho wind that the minister has. Pa pranced around, and the minister kopt his face guarded, causo he didn't want to have to preach with a black eye, but pretty soon pa made a pass at tho preacher and tobk hini 'biff' right on the nose, but he rallied and landed one on pa's stomach, and made pa grunt. Tho blow on the nose mado the minister perspire, and he was more excitod than I ever savv him when he was preaching, and he danced around pa until ne got a good chance and then he landed one on pa's eye. and the otLer under pa's ear, and pa gave him one on the eye, and they clinched, and the minister got pa's head under his arm and was giving it to pa real hard, just as ma and three of the sisters of the cburch came down cellar to see ma' canned fruit, and the minister got pa' legs tangled and threw him against ma and they both wentintoa clothes baske of wet clothes, and ma yelled "pólice,' and she scratehtd pa on the side of the face, and the minister turned suddenl and ono glove hit a deacon's wifo on the bangs and knocked the hair oft,and the minister was excited and he said, "whoop! l'm a bad man. This makes mo thinkof when I was on tho turf," and tho womcnyelled murder, Ma picked pa out of the clothes basket, and held his head, and wiped his bloody nose on a pillow case, and pa was mad at the minister for strikiñg so hard, and the minister said heshouldn't have stru-k hard onJy pa paslod him on the nose, and pa said it was no such thing, and referred to my chuna, who wa3 referee, and the women all said it was a perfect shame to see a minister descend to be come a slugger, and I guess they are going to briog tho minister ;ip beforo mu uuiuiiiiuee anu uounco mm. YVe all got on our coats and went up stairi?, and finally ma furnished some courl piaster for the rninister's noso, and he went home with two of the sisters, though thoy iusisted ftat he shoulc wear soft gloves, so if .e got on a boxing tantrum on the vvay home ho couldn't hort thum. The minister feit real bad about hurüng pa, and pa says thut he will never altend that nhuroh again, ag he should feel all tho time as though the minister wonld be liabio to escape from the pulpit and knock him out in one round. If the womon had kept out of the collar nobody would ever know anything about it but it is all over town now. Say, do you think it is righl for a minister to hide his talents under a bushei, or should ho put on gloves when mem berg of his church want him toP" "By gum, I don't know," said the grocery man. "But if I was a minister, and could box, ani anybody went lo putting on any scollops over me, I would at least I thmk I would, from tho light I have beforo me now, knock hi two eyes into one. What's the use of learning to box, and then allow folks to bossjou around. I have seen some ministers go around in a meek and lowly manner, taking slack from every deacon in church, and being made to feel as though he was an object of charity , who could whip the whole congregation in a fair, stand up fight, and 1 sometimos think if such a minister would get on his ear and knock a few of his persecutors down a couple of pair of stairs, they would have more respect for him. But it is fashionable for ministers to wem to be dependent sort of people. and I suppose it ahvays will be. "Woll, I must go and gct a couplo of oystors to put on pa's oyes to tako out ho black," and tho boy, went out and put tho sign 'tako onë' on a pile of Iressed chickens. Cigar ashes are said to be n inTaluable reinedy for the bites of mosquitoes and other insecls. Wet the ashes and ub them on the afflicted part and the tinging Fensation will be relieved ilmost inst!.ntly. The reason lor thix s that the ashes contain an alkali vvhich ncutralizesthe acid of tho poison. ' The following is a statement of the ¦ ublie debt for tli inouth of N..vomber: D'1 reaseaurlng November: $1,721,976 00 De' rease of dobt tinec June 30, 1SS3, $41,300,; 4ü 00. v