Pungent Paragraphs

- Union Pacific - A maniate bot ween deaf imites. - OU City Derrick. - Sleep may knit the raveled sleeve of care, but it absolotely refuses to daru holes in socks. - Boston Star. - Au exchange says orderlieg in the Italian army now use the bic}'cle in the performance of their duties. It alwy soi'iiinl tn ïw bhat all Ifalv was ever on the point of a rovolulion. - X. Y. Graphic. - "American titles of distinction." lays the Judge, are "Bearon WallBtreet, Count Yourchiekens, Earl Ytobcd." O, yes, and there'i Dukj Comtobed also and Prints AUthenens. -BurdtUe. - A joker says an expeditious mode of getttug up a row is to carry a Ion ladder on your shouder in a crowded thoroughfare aud every few minutes turnaround to ace if any one is makiug faces at you. - A conundnim iiend asks: "What is the ditlereuco between Italy and a boy who has a penchant for 'sninning' up trees?" As if we didn't know that one is a sunny clime, and the other fl. climb-y son. - Drakc's Trauelcrs' Magatine. ¦ - "Helio ! Johnny, whero you'vo been all the niorning?" asked one urchin of another as he appcared in the school-room during the afternoon gession. "Been lishin'," was the reply. "Ketch anythin1?" "Yes - a lickinV and the second class in geography stood up. - Boston Pos!. - A man having built a large house was at a loss what to do with the rubbish. His Irish s te want advised liim to have a pit dug lare enough to contain it. "And what, siid he smilniji. "shall I do with the ear'.h that 1 di up from it?" To whieh the steward, with great gravily, replied: "Have the pis made large enough to hould all." - "That, sir, is a very fine quality of gugar," said the groceryman. "ít is used mostly for niaking desserts." "Why is it used mostly for makiug desserts,"' asked the customer. "Ou account of its superior quality, sir." "O, that's it? I thought it iñiglil ) used for making deaMTta on account of the large amount of sand in it." - JV. Y. Sun. - A Brooklvn girl has prepared hergelf for colleg'e by mastering the four books of Xenophon"s "Anabasis" and three of Homer's "Miad," Arnold's "First Greek" book and "Jones' Composition," and has read criücally the whole twent-four ljook-;of thu "lliad." When she comes to prepare herself for matrimony, she will find that the arts of frying frittersand sewing on collar-buttons are worth all the (reek in the books. - Norrialou-n JhralL - "What is the matter with Jim Hammon? ' asked a grain merchant of a countryman who had just "got in" with sorne corn. "lies got bimselC into trouble," was the replv. "So Í hear; but what was the matter?" "W'ell, Joems got too prosperous." "How can a man be too prosperous ?'' "Welli Jeenis warn'l satistied withraising the best co'n ;ui' oats, au' the best hosses an' cattle; he ha' to raise notes. That's when; tlie tronble bogan. I tell yon, a man wants to draw the liua ou