"a Little Nonsense."

- A Massachusetts young lady has liad tivv uauic i.iiaui.4 vr+-im+y, .because so nianv men like to court noto riety. - Hatchit. - "A little girl, feeling herself neg-i lected, said to her sister: "I think youi had better pay some attentioa to me, for mamma says nobody knows what I'll do ncxt."- Waterloo Observer. - Mr. Smith (to Mrs. Parvenue, who has been telling him about hcr newi house) : "I suppose you will have dumb waiters in the house'?" Mrs. P: "No,, I shan't. I had a deaf cook once, and I vowed then never to have another crippled servant," - Life. - Hard on Him. - Mistress: "Ireallyi can not put up with your voracious appetite any longer, James. Why, even the beasts of the tield know when they've had enough, but you neven do.' James: "Please, 'm, you never tried me!" - Funny Folks. - "Would you like this bound in Turkey?" asked the gentlemanly book, agent of his rural custorner for 'Scrateher's Universal History of the world.' "Oh, no," was thereply, "no use sending it clear out there; bind it tn New York." - Boston Commercial Bulletin. - Little Joe: "Mamma can we take Dickie with us ont walking?" Fashionable Mamma: "Certainly. Tellthe nurse to dress him." "Oh, Idon't mean Dickie the baby. I mean Dickie the dog." "What! Take my dog out such unhealthy weather as this! Of course not." - Philadtlphia Cali. - "Look, papa," said a little South Side girl, after gazing at the moon in its first quarter, the moon is broken in two." Soon after, while crossing the bridge she saw the reflection of the moon in the water, and exclaimed triumphantly: "There is the other piece, papa." - Oil City Derrick. - Near-sighted old gentleman (entering store) : "Have you any linen dusters?" Young Snobson (with his most sarcastic manner): "I am not a clerk in this establishment yet, sir." N.-s. o. g. : "Nót yet a clerk, eh? Errandboy, I presume? Well, legs are as good as brains in some departments." -N. 7. Qraphic. - Johnny, how many hours are thera in a day?""asked Colonel Verger of his tion, who is attending lectures at the University of Texas. "Twenty-threo hours," was the reply. "What has become of the other one?" "I don't know, but I hcard the teacher say the days were one hour shortcr thau thej usèd to be. - Texas Siflingi. - "Oh, drar," sighed a woman who was always complaining about her health, and who was ncver, under any circuni-tano's, without some serious ailment, "J feel so wrctchedly this morning. I think I am the most unfortúnate woman alive." "Yes," said her husband, sympathizingly, I feel very sorry for you, indeed, my doar. I don't believe there is a woman in the world who cniovs such poor health m