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Rollo And His Father

Rollo And His Father image
Parent Issue
Day
10
Month
February
Year
1886
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

Mr. Holliday was conlined to the hoi90 by a sovere attack of rheumatism, as Mr. Holliday chose to cali it. It will ba noticed that Mr. Holliday was not above the habit, common to most Americana, of using a long word where a short one would botter serve the purpoae. As has boen said, Mr. Holliday was oonüned to the house by a sevore áttack of gou-, beg pardon.'of rheumatism- and llollo, 88 was his custom, comforted his father and made hiiu quifa forget his bodily pain by plying hiiu oontinually with oonundrttms. "Fathor," said Kollo, "does fat ruu faater than loan!'" "Yes, Rollo, in hot weathor, muoh faster; fout why do yon ask my son?" replied Mr. Holliday, winking at Joua.s, who was engaged ia bandaging the olii gentlerna'i's foot. "Bocause, father," said Rollo, "1 notice that they novor mak a man a pólice ofticer until he is vmv fat." Mr. Holliday was mueh pleased to find that Rollwasso obsorvinpr: though Jonas remarked uuder his breath (upon whioh there wís a suspicion of whisky) that nobody witb eyes in his head eouïd help observing ihat. "The reason why fat men areseloi-tel for policetnen, tf.ollo," said Mr. Holliday, "is that it takes fewer of ihera to make a platoon, and thereforo the expUM lo the city is muoh less wlvti a certain superficial área of polioe ollicer is oallod for. Theo, again, two offioon, or three at the most, are quito uffioent to block up one of our great thoroughfares and provent tbe passage ol any of the dangorous class!" "And that, Rollo," interrupted Jonas, this time above his breath, "is why the dangerous class always takes to the lleys; apoliceraan can't erowd himsclt into an alley, you know." Mr. Holliday sugzested to Jonas that he was engaged to dress tho feet of his employer, and not to volunteer any alley-bVes. Mr. Holliday, it should bo mentioned, indulged in paronomas a oaly when it was considerad necessary to making himwlf understood by the munia classes. 'And, father," said Rollo with animation, "the reason why so ujany thieves and murderers and other gentlemen of that kind escape is beotuuM they slip througli the fat iingers of the fut policemen." "No, Rollo," replied Mr. Holliday, "you are wrong there. To say that the thievos, murderers et al. slip through the fat fingers oí the fat policemen argnes that the fat policemen get their hands on the thieves, murderers el al. aforesaid; which would be in the nature of reductio ad absurdium, or, as we say in the mígate, proving things th:it ain't so. No, Rollo, whoever told you that the fat polieeman ever gets his hamls on a thief or a murderer ' (and here Mr. Holliday looked hard at Jonas) "was, I suspect, codding you - that is to say, tryingto deceiveyon." "But, father," exclaimed Rollo, in urprisH, "if the fat polieeman never ffets his hands on the thief or murderer, what is he good for?" "Give it up!" was the irrelevant suggestlon of Jonas, who was apparently beooming dninker overy moment. "Of much good, Rollo," replied Mr. Holliday, not deigning to notico Jonas' remark. "ín the tirst plaoe it takes twioe as much cloth to uniform him as it would an ordinary person; consequently manufacturers and dealers ia cloth are directly beneSted, and through them the people generally are made to prosper. It would be impossible to say how soon it would result, but there can be no kind of doubt that were it not for the large demand for cloth on ao"ouut of the fat policemen, the milis would be obliged to shut down, sooner or later, and tho dealers, of course, would be obliged to shut up. Thousands of working peopie would thus bo thrown out of employment, and nobody can teil where the evil would end. You see. Rollo, when you look into this question of fat policemeu, you must discuss it in a large way. "Really," said Rollo, soniewhat abashed, "I have looked at the fat polieeman many times; but I never suspeoted that there was so much in him." "Full 'most all the time!" öxclainncl the miserable Jonas, who was eridently far gone. "Then there is another thing," resnraod Mr. Holliday. "He is of great help in preventing crowds. Whnre he is there is no room for a crowd. In helping ladies across the treet, too, he is very useful. No horse would undertake to run over him. Horses never run up hill unless they aro foreed to it." Mr. Holliday said there were soma other things for which thefatpoliceman was good; but owing to the press of business and the distraction of the gou - that is, rheumatism - he had quite forgotten what they were. Therefore he direoted that he bs left alone for awhile, and that Jonas be taken to the pump and treated as the exgonc:ns of

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Subjects
Ann Arbor Courier
Old News