Pungent Paragraphs

- Society is just like a pie. There is an upper crust and a lower crust, but :he real strength and substancie lieg jetween them.- New Haven News. - A tailor is the only man who dares x) gire lii.s best custoiners fits, and bjr lis cutting ways show that he has tueasured them up. - Old lady (8omewhat privileged) - "Are you a marrying man, Mr. Hard-: eastle?" Mr. Hardcastle (earnestly) - "O, no indeed, lui'am; I'm a widower." - Chicago Tribune. - "I do love dress," exclaimed a foung society belle. "Then I should think you would wear more of it," retorted a cynical bachelor friend of middle age. - N. F. Mail. Matthew Arnold is coming back to this country. He thinks he remembers one place where he let a dollar or two get away from him the last time. - Chicago News. - If you want to know whether your grandmother was cross-eyed or where your great-uncle stood in nis arithmetic claus, just run for office and you'll know it all. - Texas Siftings. - John W. Mackey, the bonanza millionairc, declares that "money in an accident." Perhaps it is. Still, it U an accident which a man can generally insure himself against by entering journalism.- N. Y. Independent. - Mamma- "Well, Johnny, I shall forgive you thia time, and it's Tery pretty of you to write a letter to say you're sorry." Johnny - "Yes, ma; don't tear it up, picase." Mamma - "Why not?" Johnny- "Because it will do for the next time."- N. T. Ledger. -Spring Flowers: "I think we shall hare to utart our flower bed before long," said Mrs. Shuttle. "Oh, bother the flowers that-" "Job Shuttle!" And neeing a broom upraised he ilid out of the back door. - Hartford Post. "The weather is orer me a little this morning," recently remarked a Frenchmau who is zealously studying the idioms of the Knglish language in this city. He had meant to say that he waa a littl under the weather. - Harper's Weekly. - A member of the House of LonN who always pronounces Derby, Darby, Berkshire", Barkshire, etc, was interrupted in his speecli on a recent occasion by the barking of a dog that had somehow got into the gallery. whereupon "the noble lord" exclaimed: "To what new species of opposition am I now to be subjected!" "It is only a member from Barkshire " responded a witty duke. - Customer (in coffee and cake saloon): "Waiter, bring me beef and beans on separate plat es; hare the beef cut thin and with the grain; the beans brown on one side, and not too hot; and a cup of coffee, and don't let the coffee spill into the saucer." Waiter: 'A11 right, sorr. Anvthing elso?" Customer: "Aglas of water." Waiter: "Do yez want the wather wajhed, torrfA - Fitlsburgh Chranicle, Uoslaked lime, near meat, preserve! i by keeptng the air diy.