The "boyz" May "kritesoize."

Mishtur Eddittür: - Will yez plaze print tliis fur a poor man widout edicashun? Joh ny had tu lave skool before he cud rite aad go tu vvurruk tu lielp kape the fainily, and now we hav tu be payin in the taxes fnr the rale roads and the watliur wurruks a tliggin up the strates and luvin thiin in riges and gulleys and givin us sthrange eullnred and sthrong shmelling wathur. The companee wuz afther urgin me tu hav wather wurruks put in me houie, andthis day az I turnd tliefawset Igot rivurwegetashunouto' it. How's tliis, says I, Bridget, an' f'aith now duz thay be fther takin ub fur basts, a sendin' of us grass? lts wather to drink wliat I wants. I sphoke to the Board uv Heltli an' I got no satisfaxshun. What is a Board uv Ilelth good fur, anyways? So I axes yu Mishtur Eddittür, can yu teil me vaht Imetodo? Kan they collect the riut On sieh wather? The docthur sez little Mary's sickness kums frum the malaree in the wntliur, stire. an' 'pon me sowl I belave the uld pump aud cisthurn iz büther. I helave it'ill not Iieliip timprence much fur tlie pteptil tu liav tu dlirink sich vnthur. Iiid.ule it will not. The ould ponee aven sclinifl'á an' schniffs befoar ht'll tliaste ut, like ut schmclcl bad. TH not sine me name to this fur ttie boys, bad ccss to theni, will krltesoize me sphellln', but I no good wathur when I git me Ups upon it just the same.