"a Little Nonsense."

- Which was Sir Walter Scott's greatest novel?" asks a correspondent of Siftings. Each one should judge for himself, Ivanhoe-tion. - Texas Siftings. - Why does the camel know more about base-ball than the dromedary? Because he is a hump higher. Take this with your dessert.- Commercial Bulletin. - "Do you think I'm a simpleton, gir?" thundered a fiery Scotch laird to his new footrnan. "Yesee, sir," replied the canny Scot, "I'm no' lang here, and 1 dinna ken yct." - "Come here, Walter, and let me shave you too," said Uncle Alfred, who was tonsorially employed. to his iiveyearold nephew. "No," was tho prompt reply; "my whiskers ain'tripe yet." - IJarper's Bazar. - Oldlady (suffering fromhicconghs, to drug clerk) - Young man, I want to get some liquor Clerk (hastily)- Can't do it, madam. You'vo had enough airea Old lady (frigidly) - Some licjuorice. - N. Y. Smi. - Cnstomer (to waitcr who has brought him a steak of the smallest dimensions) - Bring me a glass, please. Waiter- Glass of whal P Lager or bitter, sir? Customor- No, a magnifying o-lass; I ani afraid of cutting into the plato. - Ar. Y. Telegram. _He- From the wapt exprcthion of vour fathe, Mith Mawy, I know that thith autumnal thunthct awoutheth thoiiwhth of deopetht thentiment in yourmind. She- Y-e-s; I was thinking what a jolly good lot of color they'd be, if I could only get at tliem, for my ncw erazy quilt. - Jiarper's Bazar. -Violet," said the young man with hair evenlv balancea and creased breeches, "I have come to-night to ask vou a tiucstion that has been on my kind tor weeks." "Well. Victor," said the shy goddoss. "I un anxious to know if you would take me for botter or 'for worse?' " "Well, Víctor, to look at you I should say worse! Victcr is singlo vet. - Yonkcr Slatesman. - "There comes that life insurance a'ri'nt again!" azolalned a Wall street broker as he stgod at a window in his offloe the other inorning. "To see yonP" "Te. He' bothered the life out ()f me for the last six months to take a polioy." "y dear sir, yon must liavo euoouniged him at the ¦tort." "Well, I guess I did. He asked me for a light for his cigr, and T o-avp i ti hira. It will be a valuable