- Professional humorista areengaged In New York to arouso after-dinner nierriment. - N. Y. Sun. - Tweniy miles of snow sheds, costmg $1,500,000, have been built recently by a Canadian railway eompany. - It is not good policy to say things beforo childrea that you would not have repeated. It is the linie things that teil. - Boston Transcript. - Piedmont, Ga., comes forward with the claim of having within its limits a tree that drops snow from its branches at regular intervals. - The oldest bank building in this country is situated in Albany, N. Y. It was erected in 1803, and has been oconpied by one concern ever since. - - Albany Journal. - Sonie persons havo the habit of exelaiming, "üon't talk to me!" They should reflect that possibly the offender would not, only he has got to talk or bust.- N. Y. Mail. -At Port Jervis, N. Y., recen tly the railroad ticket agent was floored by the following nuery from a welldressod man: "Willthis train coming now léave before the one going next? - There are about 200,000 men interrsted in brass bands, eitheras players or makers of instruments. There are 80,000 brass bands in this country at the present time, and their number is rapidly increasing. - N. Y. Sun. - Eighty-five persons climbed Mount Blanc last year. Ten of these were Americans. They found plenty of room at the top. There is always plenty of room where the mass of mankind does not care to go. - Boston Post. - The average man's opinión of human i ty is not flattering. In his heart of hearts he is aware that he is himself a remarkably poor lot, and yet he coniiden himself, on the whole, a little betterthan anybody else.- N. Y. Times. - The pcople of the United States pay more for Brazilian coflee than the value of all the merchandise exported to the whole of South America. The coft'ee cost.s $30,000,000. The exports are a little less than $28,000,000.- Chicago Times. - A St. John (N. B.) liquor dealer who has been amusing himself by blowing lionn and otherwise disturbing the Salvatlon Army when they pass his place, was rotten-egged recently by a number of young men who were desirous of teaching him better sense. - Honry Thornton moved lus sittingroom stove to the smoke-house last April. The other day he cleaned it, preparatory to putting itup again, and found among the ashes live coals that must have been moldering for six months.. He had burned hickory wood in the stove.- N. Y. Herald. - A tramp who was jailed in Indiana the other day had three scars from bulleto, two bruises from clubs, seven fresh dog-bites and a black eye, and yet he kickcd vigorously about beingput into a warm room where he would have plenty to eat and find perfect rest for the next sixty days. - Detroit Free Press. - The King of Cambodia, according to the correspondent of a Paris journal, has three hundred wives, chosen from the handsomest women in the whole country. The entire üopulation and territory belong to the King. All the Cambodians are the King's "earmen" or slaves, and pay him rents. The King himself belongs to the French Kesident-General. - A Georgia paper publishes as truth the story of a Marión County farmer who became satislied that he had a tapeworm. So he carefully baited a little fishhook, tied a short line to it, smallowed the hook and tied the line to his button-hole. Then he waited for a faite. By and by he thought he had one and yankcd the line; the hook caught in his throat and had to be dug out. He didn't catch the worm. - Murder, or plotting to murder, is a heinous crime the world over. If a man advises another or pays another to commit a murder it is as difficult for him to escape punishment as it would be did he commit the murder himself. If a man murders another and flees the country to escape punishment international laws contémplate his return to the scène of the murder for punishment. - Chicago ínter Ocean. - A San Diego citizen bought a ticket for San Francisco and sat down on the pier until the boat should be ready to start. He became much interested in the work going on, the passengers hurrying down, the gangplank pulled in, and the lines cast oll', and expressed pleasure at the sight of the bigsteamer as she left the pier. Then ho remembered he wasn t on board, bul his bagE&gè was, and his langiiage was something shocking. - Sara Francisco Chronicle. - The.ingenuity of our fellow bcing is great; a mau with two wooden legs has placed himself upon a perfect equality, as to covering ground quiokly, with any other individual who possesses two flesh, bone, niuscle and blood continuations. He was secn ¦ooddine along Broadway one morning this weeic on a tricycle, which he drove to perfection by means of his wooden pins, which were fastened to the shafts to prevent slipping.- N. Y. Herald. - Lieutenant A. M. Fuller, of the Second United States Cavalry, during his recent service in Arizona was detailcd to special duty as signal oilicer. Signal.s were llashed by mirrors from tive to forty miles. So nearly perfect is this system of communication by sun-tlashès that a trial message of tttcnty-Hve wonls was sent recently over è. two hundred mile line, and an answer of the same length received at the starting point in twenty minutes' time. - Chicago Journal. The average duration of life has been made the subject of fresh investigación bv a Germán statistician, who flndí thal the lowest average is for the day laborer (thirty-two years), and the bighest among those who engage in iniimial toil Ifl among the pardeners, Bftilora and fishermen, fifty-eight years. The professional occupations come even albove regular open air occupations, as the averages given show iurty-nine years for physicians, lifty-four for juri.Cts, fifty-seven for teachers and sixty-seven for clerjrymen.