Brother Gardner

"When you come to size mankind np in all de details, de result am sunthin' to make you feel miserable," said Brother Gardner as the meeting of the Llmekiln Club was called to order. "In my time I bas known a poet whose varses brougbt tears to my eyes an' made de heart bulge out, an' yet dat poet left the snow on nis sidewalk fur de public to wade frew, an' he sot cross-legged on de street kyar an' spit terbacker all ober the floo'. "I has known a philanthropist to send off his check to an orfan asylum, an' to send coal an' flour to desarvin' but destitoot fam'lies, an' on dat same day he would giv his hired man twt-lve cents fur ft shulin' an' charge de hired gal fur breakin' a tea-cu p. "I has known a statesman whose influonee could make or unmake a party ¦ - whose speeches war' read an' reread - whose dignity in public was dat of an iceberg - I has known sich a man to climb j#p on de alley fence an' wrangle wid an ash peddler who had taken two bushels and a half of ashes and wanted to pay fur only two bushels. "1 hev read the witin'sof an author who seemed to feel a sympathy fur de huil world, an' lt I seen dat same purson threaten de arrest of a sebeny'ar-ole boy on de street who axed hiiu fur alms. "I hev read de writin's of a man who claimed to sit on de pedestal of complacency an' look down upon de turmoils of de world widout a shade of annoyance. I hev met dat same pusson in de alley at night wid a lighted candle in hand to look fur a nickel which his ehild lost, an' do way be took on about dat trifle was 'nuff to bust de biler of a twenty hoss power engine. "We am all hypocrites. We am all ïwo-sided. We hov got one face fur de public an' anoder fur private life. To ium us all tip an' bile uu down, we am all poo' critters an1 a mighty long ways offfrom any thin'like perfuckshun." -