All The World's A Fraud

All the worlii'n a fraud, And all tlie men and woinen merely hum bug ; 1'lny Imve llieir dodges, and oontrlvances; Mach uslng In bi8 HlMiiii' miiny arts, 8uch arts belng seven swlndles. At flrst, the 1 o faut, Pretendlng hunger In the nurne's u'ms; And theii the whlntng schoolboy, the young scapegrace, Telling of the stoinach ache a plteous tale, Tobe excuaed from school. And theu the lover: Swearlng aflectlon to the wealthy wldow When all he wants la money. Then a soldier ; Full ot strange oaths discusslng with hls pard How best to get a chance to tap a barrel, Koeping the bottle e'er In agltatlon TUI ne has drank It out. Aud then the Jus ttce; Who tells the twelve what verdict they must flud, And glves thein argumentH to prove a man Who k i ; .- anolher 1 a luuattc, For wblch he is well pald. Next swlndle shlfts Into the lean and lecherous old coon ; Wilh mustacheon hls none, and bleary eyes; Mi scrafgy chin well-shaved ; he takes a prlde In youthful pranks ; narratlng to the boys Tales of tlctltlous conquest, o'er their pipes ; The lauglilng stock ol town. Last fraua of all ThatendRthls strange and swlndllug hlstory, Is second babyhood, scarce wortn lae living on Saus witr, or Heuse, or taste for anylhlug.