Bill Nye On Big Hats

The late William Shakespeare once wrote in an autograph album these words : AU the workl'8 a stage. Slncerely your frlend, W M . Sll .1 K K-ifkA UK. Perhaps lie meant tliat there were flies on il - but we wil] not uudertake to enter tliia field of thought. However, to speak in a more serious vein and treatlng the subject in i more diguitied way, 1 will state that afler a niunberof years' scrutiny ot' llie world I am convinced that the greatbard used tliis cxpressiou iu a tigurative sense only. Could he piek up lila pen to-day tlie would either erase the above lino or add to it so t tint it would ïeatl : "AH the world's a stage, and nobcxly but wumaii iu hlicli hut culi nee wimt U giling OU 11 1 ¦¦ 11. 14 yours bttterly, Bilí.." It is not a new field, perhaps, this dis euosiou of the tull hat, but 1 desire in my poor, wèak way to add my testimony to the testimony of those who have sat down ou said hat. I teel of a truth - occasioually- that this high hat is making an old uian of me and drawing lines of care here aud there over my fair young face. llere at n time of life whon I ought to be in the full flusli and prlde of man nood I linil niyselí lio tenger able to build the liic in the inornin, and niy lmaUi, wlilch v,is once as robust as that of the upas tree, n.w comes in short pants. 'l'be tall hat with a wad of timothy or a live-pound pompon .it the apex thereof, has brought this about. llow would a man look who might git iu the baldlieadcd men on the front row, badMBe they offered no obstruction to the visión ? And iiow, what do we see We do not see anylhing ! 1 will leave it to any disiuterested persou tosay whetber I do not love and adadmire woman, whether aggiegatcd or segraded, but she does do some things wlilcb as her friend and admirer I dceply regret. Not long ago 1 had the pleasurc of iittending one of Mr. Booth's performances in which lie took the part of Hamlcl wilh yreat creilll to liimself, au I afterwants learned trom a memoer of the orchestre who saw thewhole performancc. If I had uot proniised a foriner wife of mine that I would never touch liijuor I mild ban been amply justified that cvrning iu saturating uiyself with bay iiini r some other sednetive beverajie. 1 .aid a largp price a week beforehand tor a seat at the Hamlet performance, In i-aiisr I had met Mr. Booth once tn the liocky Mountains and had made a deep impicsslon on hlm. I had also told biin that. if lie ever happened to be iu a towu wbere 1 was lecturing I would dismisa any auilieiice to maté and hear him, and iic miht do as hu thought best about sliiiitin tip on the following uight to C and huur me. We 11, 1 niiticeil al fust, when I went in, that the row before me was unoccupied, and I gathcred ihyeeif up iu a sti-ong, iniuily embrace, aud hugged mywlf wltfl jtiy. The curlain huinpcd ilsolf, and tliu iirt act waf aboHt in the act of producin ii.-ttlf, when a meek llttle gentleman, with au air of conscioua guiit, Cainu down tile aisle iu udvance of :i woman'tf excursión, coiiíiítrng of fottr feinale mcinbers of bis family, 1 judged. He lookeü about house, tiinidly took o 11' lus coat and eemed to be preparing himself lor the vigilance comnilttee. Tlicn he sat down to see whetlier executive cleniency coiUd do auything for hiui. Tlie tirst womau of the tour wns probably over forly, and yet with her alinoM beardless tace 6he looked scarcely thlrtyliglit. Slie wore a tall, en-ct hat, with a gort of píame to it, made by pulling the palnt-bruM tail out of an iron-ray mule and dyinsi it a deep criinson. Slie wore other clothlrig, but that did not Incensé uk; bo iniich as tliin hat, Whioll 1 had to examine criticaHy all the evening. tíhe moved her liead I, nd kept time with the musir, and brcalhod liurtl in places, and shuddered once or twlce. She also spokc to the nñttralHe man wno broagbt her. Her voice wai u rich barilone, wilh a low xylophone actioo, and slie breathed like the passiimate exhauet of an overworked freight i-ngine. When si e spoke to her escort I notlced that lie shortenod up about four Inches and ¦eemed to witli he had never entered society. The other three women had broad hats with domes to tfatem, and the one who sat on my rinht also sat on her foot. 'l'his gave her a lino opportunity to look ont through the skylight of the opera house now and then. The next one to her wore a decea8ed l'lymouth Rock rooster in her hat. The fourth one sat in front of an oldish gentleman who went out between the acts and came in with a plckled olive in hls mouth each time. He could not see auything on the vtage, but he crawled up under the brim of this woman's hat, with bis nose in the meshes ot' her balr, and bis hot local option breath in her neck, patiently trying to see whether thn slender lcgs iu long, black hose belonged to Mr. Iiooth, Apollinarus or the ballet. If you will continue in your excellent paper to sit down on the tall hats, I will ml roo iinilc a niimber of subscribers