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Free Advice "the Dose Dealer"

Free Advice "the Dose Dealer" image
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For those among our readers who have not taken solely to smoking bananas, I've endeavored to put together a little column which I hope will prove to be of some assistance in y our dealings with "the dealer" of marijuana, LSD, and other psychedelics.

Here's a little quiz for you. Problem as follows:

The other night two young hippies floated through my door, one an old friend, the other a stranger. The conversation went more or less like this:

"Can I score some weed, man?"


"Can I buy some grass from you? I'd like to get about ten dollars worth. "

"Wow! I wish I could help you out, but Im not doing any dealing. Too much heat for me. You know how it gets sometimes. "

"Oh gosh! I really wanted some too. I've got these friends coming over and. . . . Well, do you know anybody who has anything? I really want some, man!"

"No, I don't. I've sort of been out of it, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah. Well, thanks anyway. Later...."

Now what's wrong with this scene? Why couldn't the hippie score ?

It should be rather obvious that he didn't use his head.

He wanted the grass and he had the money; I had the grass and I wanted his money and I would have gladly dealt him a very groovy dime had it not been for the presence of whoever the hell was sitting on the chair beside him.

No dealer who wants to keep dealing is about to make a sale in front of a total stranger. Your ten dollars just doesn't match up to the possibilty of spending the next twenty beautiful years in a state penitentiary.

If you are old enough to smoke marijuana, you are old enough to cop alone! And if you are cool enough to smoke "the killer weed" you should be cool enough to keep your mouth shut. "Don't tell on me!" quipped an associate of mine.

Dealers like to make new friends, but they like to choose their own customers. If you have a friend in need, cop for him. Your dealer won 't run out of weed on you; total strangers just make it fade away.

NEWS FLASH: Detroit's grass prices have declined over the past two months. A local dealer's consensus has revealed the unheard-of rate of $15 per ounce of marijuana - and has fallen to $10 in some extreme cases. Here to stay? We hope so, but many dealers don't think the groovy prices will last much longer. Rates on kilograms and pounds are not dropping accordingly.

Our advice: Buy now and stash! Or one better: buy now and smoke like mad. "Light up and be somebody! " like the vipers used to say.

"The Dealer"

LOVE-IN (continued) 

position.  These planets rule the Unknown and the Unexpected.  This might indicate unexpected events.

At ten, Mars, the Dynamic, the Creative will be in its strongest position.

Neptune's influence will be the strongest at midnight.  At that time Divine Inspiration will be at its highest pitch, for Neptune emits a vibration that crystalizes the highest form of human knowledge.

All in all, a very harmonious day for an event of this kind.

Kenneth Burns