Money these days is real tight. Jobs are hard to find, states can't meet welfare payments, and salaries are low. In the midst of this economic crisis, the Nixon administration has decided to spend $85,000 on the very pressing project of cleaning up the estimated 22,000 acres of wild marijuana growing across the midwest.
The Agriculture Department, which is handling the grant, made no mention of it until prodded by an inquiring reporter. The plan has earned the code name WHEP, which stand for the Wild Hemp Elimination Program. States due for the stamp-out are Illinois, Iowa, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, South Dakota and Wisconsin. A huge $17,000 chunk of the bread is being granted to Champaign County, Illinois, which has the largest concentration of wild dope in the nation.
Meanwhile, government research has shown that dynamite grass can be grown around here if the seeds come from high-quality plants. Plant on!